And here they are:
1. Oscar Madison (Best Friend of Felix Unger)
2. Oscar Wilde (Best Playwright of stuff I've never seen)
3. Oscar the Grouch (Best grouchy puppet thing that 'lives' in a trash can)
4. Oscar Gamble (Best 1970's ballplayer witha gigantic afro)
5. Brokeback Mountain (Best Gay Cowboy Movie)
6. Oscar Mayer (Best Weiner)
7. Oscar the dog from the Liberty Meadows comic strip (Best weiner dog...my weiner dog was just happy to be nominated...or scratched on the belly or something)
8. Oscar de La Renta (Best designer of clothes I would never wear)
9. Oscar de la Hoya (Best boxer)
10. Oscar Shindler (Best list maker)
11. Oscar Goldman (Best head of Bionics divison, OSI)
Woofie-do stole all the best ones! Damn him!
ReplyDelete12. Oscar Blow-Off (Best Game to Play with People Who Bore You...When someone's yapping to the point of snoozery, "bring up the music" on their ass. Start humming loudly, in the fine tradition of nipping Oscar speeches in the bud.)
ReplyDelete13. Oscar Hammerstein (Best Composer Guy Who Did All of That Music for Movies with No Gay Cowboys--unless there's a subplot in Oklahoma that I've forgotten?)
14. Oscar B. Goodman (Best Ironic Name of Mayor in the whole United States. Mr. Goodman, mayor of Las Vegas, Nevada, crushed his too obviously graftlicious mayoral opponent, "Arthur J. Viceboy.")
15. Damn, I had one more--but they're bringin' up the music to cut me off. CRAP!
And, while woofie-do's list is inspired, I must beg to differ. Frank Gorshin is the Best Dead Impressionist Artist. But, as he probably could have pretended to be Claude Oscar Monet, it all comes out in the wash.
ReplyDelete