Let's see how close you've been paying attention:
THE I AINT NO OPRAH FIRST ANNUAL QUIZ AND CLAMBAKE
The best Hoagy based blog was:
a) The switchblade comb story
b) The bloody Kotex story
c) Grooving in the handicapped seats story.
d) Donating all his time to the children's burn ward story
The poster who just posts too damn much:
a) Mr. Cake
b) Devil's Cake
c) Cake
d) Ms Cake
The poster who is usually strung out on puppy dope:
a) Momenger
b) Bemisdown
c) Anunomess
d)MotherofGawd
e) all of the above
I AINT NO OPRAH's Favorite subject:
a) Hitler
b) Hoagy
c) Mel Gibson
d) Douchebags
e) retards
My favorite daughter:
a) My oldest
b) My youngest
c) Somebody else's.
Favorite poster from New Zealand:
a) Sparkle Plenty
b) Lois Lane
c) The Gal from New Zealand
Winner of the first deadpool:
a) PwDonz
b) Ann
c) Cousin Saul
Loser of the first deadpool:
a) Steve Irwin
Least likely to attend a Star Trek Convention:
a)Phil Donahue's Niece
b) Steve Irwin
Did Momenger become:
a) StuckWithGiantBreasts
b) BushMakesHerSick
c) Bemisdown
Big word award should go to:
a) Sparkle Plenty
b) Sparkle Plenty
c) Sparkle Plenty
d)MotherofGawd
e) Some other douchebag retard.
John Kerry is a:
a) douchebag
b) retard
c) The junior yet esteemed Senator from Massachusetts.
d) Baby killin' loser.
Who is the King of the Non-sequitur
a) Clinky
b) Aquaman
c) Gazongalicious
d) Paul from Montreal
e) A & D
Who has the sexiest eyes:
a) Lois Lane
b) Cake
c) I aint no Oprah
Who is neither Roger or a Shrubber
a) Roger the Shrubber
Who most needs to do a real daily thought provoking blog:
a) Anunomess
b) Hoagy (his stupid Comb blog just isn't cutting it)
Who needs to post more:
a) T
b) Cousin Saul
c) Paul
d) Frank
e) Steve
f) Forry
g) My wife
h) One of my kids
i) But just my favorite
j) Bruce
k)More Jews
l) More Republicans
m) All you douchebag retarded lurkers.
Part Two will be a surprise quiz coming soon.
Yeah, that Cake person is a posting monster. Can't someone do something about her? Like, take away her keyboard or something?
ReplyDeleteThough she definitely has the sexiest eyes...
Arragh! A quiz? A quiz? On the first day of school?
ReplyDelete::panics and fumbles for a number 2 pencil::
a.) The Bill of Rights!
b.) The Earth 2 Hoagy, with a revolver, in the drawing room.
c.) If John Kerry was on a train going 55 miles an hour west, and Katie Couric was on a train going 34 miles an hour east, then Mike Douglas is the new cohost of "The View."
No, wait! He's dead! ARRAGH!
::pencil breaks and Lois sobs::
Is there a make-up test? Perhaps I could do an essay or build something out of paper mache?
Clearly I'll have to grade on a curve.
ReplyDeleteMy fav also.
ReplyDeleteDitto here.
ReplyDeleteThough the blog about how he spent that whole month in the burn ward, nursing little Timmy through the worst of his third-degree burns, still makes me well up.
c) You real soon!
ReplyDeletewhere are the clams?
ReplyDeleteMoe Berg posted! I knew my call for more Jews would be heard! Or is he a Republican? Maybe a Republican Jew?
ReplyDeleteMaybe he's one of my kids...
Dear Miss Nooprah,
ReplyDeleteCan't we have an essay question?
And some of these are just mean TRICK questions for those of us who studied really hard. Nooprah's favorite subject-Hitler vs. Hoagy? Who can answer THAT one right?
I'm switching classes.
But MY favorite Hoagy based blog is the Grooving in the handicapped seats story.
ReplyDeleteWhy do I always have to be different than the rest of the class?
Cake,
ReplyDeleteHe's always liked his male Jewish Republican daughter the best.
And don't think what's her name, you know, the "other kid" doesn't notice.
aquaman,
ReplyDeleteI think there might have been a "Hoagy vs. Hitler" fight. At a Roller Derby rink.
Oh screw it-I've already flunked this class.
Let's just cut class and go smoke out behind the school and make scowly faces at the jocks, Bemisdown.
ReplyDeleteI'm still waiting for my lobsters.
ReplyDeletePreferably the kind that are wrapped in bacon, tucked inside a brownie, and served with a $7 glass of wine.
I'm with cake on this one.
ReplyDeleteBut do we still get to go to the clambake?
Yer quiz reminds me that the absolute best way to sort comic collections is to sort them into piles as follows:
ReplyDeleteA-D
E-G
H-K
L-P
Q-S
T-V
W-Z
Then do a second sort into A,B,C etc.
Got a copy of Nth Man in your hand? Goes into pile #4, because that's the elemenopee pile.
Always glad to help.
Pinchus Moscovitch, a Goldwater fan from de nort' countree.
I'm still trying to figure out what "pinchus WEFIGSEDFNKJFHZS," or whatever his name is, said.
ReplyDeleteAnd Motheragawd,
At least you got on his quiz in reference to big WORDS, NOT big BOOBS.
I'm going to purchase a Thesaurus AND a breast reduction operation. THEN we'll see who gets some respect next anniversary quiz.