It's always something.
Just when you thought everything that could be invented has been invented someone comes up with something new.
Inside the 'best of New York' issue of New York magazine there hides a tiny little article about nipple tints.
Yup, nipple tints.
I aint making that up.
Tinted nipples.
It seems New Yorkers aint happy with the color of their nipples (they won't be happy with their baseball team either)
And now I'm becoming obsessed with the color of MY nipples. Are they green enough? Perky enough?
Are folks really so vain that they need nipple tints? Should that be in capital letters? Nipple Tints.
Are people in New York actually walking around with their nipples showing? Not just poking through a sweater or something, but outside the sweater so colors can be judged, mocked, or loved?
And how do you tint a nipple anyhow?
Do men also want their nipples tinted? Do they notice when their ladies tint the nipple? Do both nipples have to be the same color?
I might just spend the rest of my life wondering what women I know have tinted nipples.
Or maybe I'll just watch color TV.
Where I live, it's legal for men AND women to go topless...last summer, women were tinting their nipples all sorts of wild colours (purple, fire-engine red...). It's considered very hip.
ReplyDelete(And, no, I'm not hip.)
I hope to see this used and misused more and more in conversations:
ReplyDelete"Yes officer, he was 6'5, 200 pounds, with tinted nipples."
"Are those tinted nipples, or is it just cold in here?"
"I need a Bud Light, a white russian, and a tinted nipple."
"How much for a hair cut and nipple tint?"
"I'll take Tinted Nipples for $100.00 Alex...."
Gal from New Zealand:
ReplyDeletePlease don't be lumping me in with them, thank you kindly.
- Gal from Canada
Chicks from Canada and New Zealand have naturally tinted nipples.
ReplyDeletetinted nipples....hmmmm wonder if they do the Texas flag?
ReplyDeleteAre tinted and pierced nipples just plain too much? It's going to be hard to choose.
ReplyDelete