Monday, May 07, 2007

Because I have a blog I must review Spider-Man 3

This movie is so painfully bad you should go see it.

I'm not making up the following:

1. Peter Parker dances three different times for no particular reason.

2. There are four songs performed that don't involve Peter dancing.

3. That is a total of 7 musical numbers in a superhero movie.

4. The soft pretzels, 6 tacos, and popcorn chicken I ate were all delicious.

5. If you hear anyone refer to this movie as 'ass', they would be correct.

6. And not even a good looking ass....this movie is a cellulite ridden giant ass. With pimples. And hair all over it.

7. The more I think of this movie the more I hate it. George Bush should attack it.

8. John Kerry should attack it....and then change his mind about attacking it.

9. This movie is the real reason behind global warming. I think.

10. Nothing for #10....oh wait....did I mention this movie blows? (I guess there really was something for number 10.)
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15 comments:

  1. Lois Lane12:09 PM EDT

    This review is incomplete...

    What did you have to drink with the tacos, pretzel and popcorn chicken?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Cake12:16 PM EDT

    Excellent, you just saved me $10...which I can now spend on lunchtime tacos.

    Life is good.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I Ain't No Oprah12:30 PM EDT

    Silly girl....I had lemonade. What else would one drink with said gourmet foods?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Lois Lane12:53 PM EDT

    True. It's hard to get a nice chianti at the multiplex.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous12:58 PM EDT

    ...and fava beans.

    ReplyDelete
  6. bacon ace1:37 PM EDT

    It pains me to say it but NoOprah's right about this movie; it blows. I tried desperately to like it, but in the end I had to face the facts.
    The painful thing is that I promised to take my little brother and sister to it this coming weekend, not thinking that there'd be any way that I wouldn't want to see it again. How wrong was I?

    ReplyDelete
  7. bacon ace1:39 PM EDT

    "Silly girl....I had lemonade. What else would one drink with said gourmet foods?"

    Mulk perhaps? Wait, is that milk from the Hulk's teat?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Cake1:49 PM EDT

    I can just see the new ad campaign! The Hulk with a nice white moustache..."Got Mulk?"

    ReplyDelete
  9. Cake1:52 PM EDT

    p.s.
    You can get good red wine at the theatres here. Neener.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Lois Lane2:45 PM EDT

    Canada really is the promised land, isn't it?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Cake3:12 PM EDT

    Yes, yes it is.

    Though I might've been fibbing about the red wine thing. Maybe.

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  12. I Ain't No Oprah3:47 PM EDT

    The Framingham AMC theatre has one that serves beer and wine.

    It's in America.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Cake4:10 PM EDT

    Thank you for softening the blow by spelling "theatre" like a Canadian. Yer so very thoughtful!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous3:47 PM EDT

    *yawn*

    ReplyDelete
  15. --steve cohen1:48 AM EDT

    Now Susan does not want to see Spidey 3 because of this blog.
    We will probably see SHREK THE THIRD on Saturday, maybe Spidey 3 also, if I get my way, and can stay awake.
    We already bough Happy Meal toys of Shrek and Puss In Boots, which ROCK!!!

    ReplyDelete