So this morning I'm walking to the post office (I need to post something) and I walk by the costume shop (It's a shop that sells and rents costumes) and in the window was a sign that proclaimed:
'COSTUMES, $75.00 and under.'
Dumbest. Sign. Ever.
Most costume shops would find their lowest priced costume and then advertise it as: 'Costumes, $1.00 and up.'
By the way....the lowest priced costume was a Durwood Kirby for $5.95.
(I'm lying. I just wanted folks to google Durwood Kirby.)
"So this morning I'm walking to the post office..."
ReplyDeleteFolks actually walk places in the States? I thought you drove everywhere...cool.
I meant 'I'm walking to my car, to then drive to the post office'
ReplyDeleteI'm so obscure, I just had to google myself.
ReplyDelete1) Did they have any pooka costumes?
ReplyDelete2) Watch while I pull this Durwood Kirby out of my hat!
3) You mean you don't use your rocket pack to get to the post office? Did you get too many speeding tickets?
Sparkle:
ReplyDeleteI was just about to make the pooka costume comment myself... apparently we're sharing a brain today. Ha!
Could you drink some more coffee for our brain, Cakie? While a fog of sluggishness hangs low over my half of our brain, I've had so many cups of coffee that I've begun to gently vibrate in my chair. Please drink an iced coffee for me. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteSorry, Sparkle, I set out to get an iced coffee but I had to walk past a construction site and the workers were all discussing infrastructure...
ReplyDelete::uncorks bottle::
You must live in Canada if you walked by a construction site...in the states we drive by them.
ReplyDeleteIn cars.
I walked by the Stop 'n' Shop, and then I drove by the Stop 'n' Shop.
ReplyDeleteNaw, I'm lying. Did I mention I don't own a car?
NoOprah, the sign you are describing is actually BRILLIANT marketing. Consider all the costumes you saw in the window. For a MAXIMUM of $75, you could be Durwood Kirby, or Zeke Mowatt or Tinkerbelle. Hot damn!
If the sign had read "$1 and up," you MIGHT be able to dress as Durwood Kirby for $5.95, but Zeke Mowatt might cost, I dunno, a million dollars or something.
And that would really be a letdown.
-- Lamont Cranston
Cake: Hic hic! Fergit it. This is much more fun than iced coffee.
ReplyDeleteLamont: Good point, sir. Yet, I do not thank you for the mental image of No Oprah as Tinkerbelle.
As of next year, all U.S. citizens must buy a tiny car to drive back and forth to their regular cars--"sidewalk shuttlecraft." You get them from Sharper Image, and they fold up and fit in your back seat. Tiny SUV models are available and still get really crappy mileage!
Does Lamont OWN a costume? I think not.
ReplyDeleteWe've been the Village Idiot 26 times...
ReplyDeleteSparkle: NoOprah has cast himself much more in the Bilbo Baggins mode.
-- Lamont "Derek Jeter has four more rings -- and counting -- than Ted Williams, Carl Yastrzemski and David Ortiz put together" Cranston
Lamont:
ReplyDeleteYou could be on to something. Didn't Bilbo also have a secret love of Fritos? This could get a little spooky.
(Though he could also be Frodo... since he does have that close male friend, Hoagy Gamgee.)
1) No Oprah likes snacks. He consorts with dwarfs. All that remains is to check his feet.
ReplyDelete2) "Hoagy Gamgee" is a kinda snappy name.
3) Lamont may not own a costume (and no boats, no lights, no motor car--not a single luxury), but he's got the biggest nickname I've ever seen on a man.
Size isn't everything
ReplyDelete-IANO
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ReplyDeleteIt's just cold in here, that's all!!
ReplyDeleteIt's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean.
ReplyDelete*coughs nervously*