Two stories got my attention this week.
The first was something about some vote in congress that passed 341-1. They mentioned the one lone Nay. But then there was a link that said: SEE HOW YOUR REP VOTED. I'm pretty sure we know. Assholes.
The other stupid story was something with the HEADLINE: 47% of the Iraqi people want the "war" to stop right now. But shouldn't the headline actually have said 53% of the Iraqi people DON'T want the "war" to stop right now.
And then there was something about The New England Patriots cheating, but my subject says there are TWO more reasons the media is stupid, not three. Oh well....
::ahem::
ReplyDeleteYou do know that some of your loyal readers work in the media, don't you?
We're smart!!!!! Not stupid like they say!!!!
::sob::
Okay. I'm over it. I'm guessing you're just still confused.
My favorite story of the day:
"A Cambodian man was arrested after injecting a woman with his own blood in a bizarre scheme to win her affections, police said Wednesday."
Oooh. Amazing that a catch like him hasn't been snagged yet.
Shouldn't that have read: "....to catch her infections"?
ReplyDeleteWay to go, NoOprah...you made Lois cry. You'd better be ordering a pudding and donut gift basket right this moment to make up for it.
ReplyDeleteOh, I'm not really cry...(what? gift basket...)
ReplyDeleteSOB!!
::falls on floor, breaks down in dispair::
Yes, pudding and donuts might make me feel a *little* better. ::sniffle::
",,,breaks down in dispair"
ReplyDeleteOr despair, even. Despaiur?
See? I'm so upset I can't even spell!!!
Better throw in some popcorn brownies, NoOprah...you've really done it this time!
ReplyDeleteBoneless brownies?
ReplyDeleteOf course!
ReplyDeleteThere are brownies with bones? Someone should alert the media!
ReplyDelete47% of Iraqis hate boneless brownies.
ReplyDeleteNo no no it should read "57% of Iraqis prefer bone-in brownies"
ReplyDeleteCheck your math.
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ReplyDeleteDude I don't even know what a 2nd cousin is. I can't count to 2 and you want me to add that up?
ReplyDeleteActually I thought it was 43% anti-bone, but I suppose I could have re-checked before I submitted my post.
53% of Iraqis prefer their second cousins to eat boneless brownies while at war??
ReplyDeleteYou folks are giving me a headache.
ReplyDeleteIf only I had some crab-flavoured chicken-bacon pudding and popcorn filled brownie-donuts, I'm sure everything would be just fine...
1) Maybe they really meant HOW the reps voted. Like, some did a little dance while they cast their vote. Others mimed their vote?
ReplyDelete2) Nine out of 10 pundits might say this might be because 53% of the Iraqi people are dead.
3) But I'm worrying about other stuff today. Like why are Cheez Doodles called Cheez Doodles? Do they sketch? Eh, ignore me. I'm still trying to shake off my pudding hangover.
"Eh, ignore me."
ReplyDeleteI know you're trying really hard to live up to your honorary Canadian citizenship and all, Sparkle...but you really should try and put the 'eh' in the right place, eh?
Augh! I keep getting confused about whether I'm being Canadian or American on any given day. When I'm American, I put an "Eh" and a shrug at the beginning of a sentence (kinda like "Feh"). When I'm being Canadian, it migrates to the end, eh?
ReplyDelete