If the Sox lose tomorrow night, you know they were playing for Liza Minnelli.
Fact: The Yankees play a version of "New York, New York" after every home game. When they win, it's the Frank Sinatra version. When they lose, it's the Liza version.
If Joey Bishop had married Joey Heatherton, she would be Joey Bishop. Monogramming would be problematic. They would fight over towels and stuff.
If Joey Heatherton had married Heather Locklear (in a tasteful civil ceremony), many men might have wanted to witness their honeymoon. And, Heather's name would have been Heather Heatherton.
If Joey Bishop had married Bishop Desmond Tutu (in a tasteful civil ceremony), many men would likely not want to witness their honeymoon. And, the Bishop's name would have been Bishop Desmond Bishop.
If Bea Arthur had married Arthur Treacher, she would have forced him to take her name ('cause she was a "libber"!)--with predictably hilarious results!
If Carmen Miranda married Yves Montand, while fixing her hair she'd be
Carmen Miranda Montand when she combed. She'd be Carmen Miranda Montand when she combed. She'd be Carmen Miranda Montand She'd be Carmen Miranda Montand She'd be Carmen Miranda Montand when she combed.
I asked the blonde to insist you place your lucky hat in the freezer. Next to your testacles. Or cover your testacles with the lucky hat. Whatever it takes.
Having never been to Fenway Park (did I mention that before?) I decided it was time to learn some stuff. The blonde, along with my sisters, have been very accomodating when I call them at odd hours and ask questions like "What's the Bull Pen? How come Beckett can't pitch every night?"
But obvioulsly it all comes down to one simple issue-your so called lucky hat.
Anyway-HI AGAIN EVERYONE!!!! I'm getting a new computer next week so I can annoy you all again soon. It's what I do best. I'll try to stick to one blog name for at least a week though-consistency counts!
"My doctor is wonderful. Once, in 1955, when I couldn’t afford an operation, he touched up the X-rays."
ReplyDeleteI thought they were already winning it to save your puppy's life...gee, I hope this command to win it for Joey doesn't confuse them.
ReplyDeleteThe other night I secretly vowed to kill Joey Bishop if the Sox lost game 4.
ReplyDeleteYeesh. Here I was all set to predict Manny hitting the ground if he comes up in a late inning and the game is a blowout...
ReplyDeleteand now I have to compete with a dead Rat Packer?
Sodding unfair is what it is.
-- Lamont "You're the Chairman, And I'm Just Bored" Cranston
Poor Lamont, here...have some "chocolate-covered raisins."
ReplyDeleteDear Boston Red Sox,
ReplyDeleteWin it for Steve's dog. He's in no rush to meet Joey Bishop.
Love,
Lois
I thought Lois was Resting I. P.
ReplyDeleteor something?
Dear NoOprah's puppy:
ReplyDeleteWHEW!!!
Love,
Cake
Dear Steve,
ReplyDeleteOkay. No problem. For Joey. For Joey and for Apple Pie.
Love,
Your Boston Red Sox
Dear Boston Red Sox,
ReplyDeleteWin some more for Sammy and the rest of the guys. But not for Peter Lawford--he's sketchy.
Love,
Joey
If the Sox lose tomorrow night, you know they were playing for Liza Minnelli.
ReplyDeleteFact: The Yankees play a version of "New York, New York" after every home game. When they win, it's the Frank Sinatra version. When they lose, it's the Liza version.
No Liza!
-- Lamont "Little Town Blues" Cranston
"Liza with a Z, not Liza with an S, because Liza with an S goes Sssssss not Zzzzzz."
ReplyDeleteIf Joey Bishop had married Joey Heatherton, she would be Joey Bishop. Monogramming would be problematic. They would fight over towels and stuff.
ReplyDeleteIf Joey Heatherton had married Heather Locklear (in a tasteful civil ceremony), many men might have wanted to witness their honeymoon. And, Heather's name would have been Heather Heatherton.
If Joey Bishop had married Bishop Desmond Tutu (in a tasteful civil ceremony), many men would likely not want to witness their honeymoon. And, the Bishop's name would have been Bishop Desmond Bishop.
That is all.
Sparkle Plenty Wrote:
ReplyDelete"If Joey Heatherton had married Heather Locklear (in a tasteful civil ceremony), many men might have wanted to witness their honeymoon."
Many men AND a not-insignificant whack of gay/bisexual women.
We find your lack of inclusiveness disturbing. Turn in your liberal credentials at the front desk and exit the big tent quietly, please...
-- Lamont "Video Killed The Celluloid Star" Cranston
I will not exit the big tent before I get some cotton candy, roasted peanuts, and popcorn. Plus, I want to see the jugglers!
ReplyDeletestands in sticky spilled soda, adhering self to floor of big tent
If Gomer Pyle married Winnie the Pooh, he'd be a Pyle of Pooh.
ReplyDeleteWho has pyles and why do I need to know about it!?
ReplyDeleteThis is a "big tent"? Always seems more like a "side show" to me.
ReplyDeleteIf Bea Arthur had married Arthur Treacher, she would have forced him to take her name ('cause she was a "libber"!)--with predictably hilarious results!
ReplyDeleteIf Carmen Miranda married Yves Montand, while fixing her hair she'd be
ReplyDeleteCarmen Miranda Montand when she combed.
She'd be Carmen Miranda Montand when she combed.
She'd be Carmen Miranda Montand
She'd be Carmen Miranda Montand
She'd be Carmen Miranda Montand when she combed.
Yee haw!
GENIUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteIANO,
ReplyDeleteI asked the blonde to insist you place your lucky hat in the freezer. Next to your testacles. Or cover your testacles with the lucky hat. Whatever it takes.
Having never been to Fenway Park (did I mention that before?) I decided it was time to learn some stuff. The blonde, along with my sisters, have been very accomodating when I call them at odd hours and ask questions like "What's the Bull Pen? How come Beckett can't pitch every night?"
But obvioulsly it all comes down to one simple issue-your so called lucky hat.
Anyway-HI AGAIN EVERYONE!!!! I'm getting a new computer next week so I can annoy you all again soon. It's what I do best. I'll try to stick to one blog name for at least a week though-consistency counts!
Meanwhile, remove your hat please.
Missed you guys!
Welcome back Bemis!
ReplyDeleteAs you can see from the Sox winning streak, NoOprah took your advice and put his hat in the freezer.