"Are you trying to bribe an officer?"
"I had a white eyepatch after getting a tree branch stuck in my eye...they called me Stick Fury."
"You've got a Hawaiian Dick."
"If I threw up in your mouth would you swallow it or spit it up and ruin some comics?"
'Why do they call him Droopy?"
"Is the price what the price sticker says?"
"I am an expert on Thor."
"Nice shirt."
"Are there any good shops around here?"
"Where can I discard this soiled tissue?"
"Can I use your bat room?"
"It was the 1980s..."
"Do you have any bunson burners?"
"Do they ticket outside?"
"Did a boy about this high come in?"
"I'd f*ck me some She-Hulk."
"My legs get all swollen so I can't work."
"We should steal Yoda."
"Can you hold these for me in case my regular shop is sold out of them?"
"Catch ya on the flip-side!"
"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Look it's Superman ::pointing at Green Lantern:: "
"Righty-O!"
"I remember when they were a nickel."
"RIP for the Royster ::pointing at a picture of Roy Scheider::"
ReplyDeleteWell, do you have bunson burners??
ReplyDelete(And...way funny! I think I've dealt with some of these same people. I'm glad they seem to have moved south. Whew!)
So it's true, nutjobs really do come out on lunar eclipse days.
ReplyDeleteHA! I love it.
ReplyDeleteWell, it really *was* the 1980s.....
ReplyDelete::runs to storage closet and starts burning old photos::
And this should definitely be a regular Wednesday feature, btw.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading numbers 1, 3, 5, 10, 16, 17, and 20 -- or what would have been numbers 1, 3, 5, 10, 16, 17, and 20 if you'd numbered 'em -- I had to remind myself that this is a comic shop and not a porno film studio.
ReplyDeleteOr is it just me?
"I don't want to spend my lucky dollar."
ReplyDeleteDear I Ain't No Oprah,
ReplyDeleteI agree with Lois. Please do this again some time and/or every New Comix Day.
Sincerely,
SP
Dear NoOprah:
ReplyDeleteThat's your name, may as well get used to it.
Love,
Cake
p.s.
Yes, please to be doing this kind of list every New Comic Book Day!
Just adding another "yes" vote to making this a regular feature!
ReplyDeleteare you sure these arent on your bathroom wall scratchings?
ReplyDeleteso it was pretty much business as usual today then - a shop full of crazies!
ReplyDeleteHey! I am NOT crazy and it WAS a nice shirt.
ReplyDeleteI've met you - you ARE crazy! Not sure about the shirt though.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite overheard comment in your store: "Wow, you can smell that all the way through the wall and everything!"
ReplyDeleteRegular feature? Do you want to risk people coming in with audition material?
"Sure, it hurt like hell...but afterward, you start to sort of enjoy the chafing."
"Is there a lot of kissing in this one, or do Batman and the Joker just fight and that's it?"
Rule #15. Just because you did two posts yesterday doesn't mean you get to take the day off today. Slackahs - you are here for my entertainment.
ReplyDeleteDeath in the family.
ReplyDeleteDear Andy,
ReplyDeleteWhat can we smell thru the wall? The fine thin-crust pizza?
Or decaying golden age comics?
Would someone please tell NoOprah (that's right, I said NoOprah) that it's bad karma to joke about deaths in the family...and even worse karma to mention delicious pizza to those who have none nearby.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
Bad karma?? Maybe it will kill someone I don't like all that much.
ReplyDeleteYou know...a cranky aunt or maybe a second cousin. Or someone.
Would someone please tell NoOprah that I kinda hope his bad karma hits the cranky aunt he didn't like all that much...but who had miraculously had a change of heart and was on the way to his shop with a freshly baked batch of cookies when she tragically died?
ReplyDeleteThank you.
Only losers delete comments.
ReplyDeleteJust sayin'.
Things I wish I had heard in your store:
ReplyDelete"The Charles Nelson Reilly action figures are right over there--next to the Paul Lynde ones."
"No, no--go right ahead--that stack of vintage Popular Mechanics is free."
"Candy for m'lady?"
"Oh, yeah--we always dress like Flaming Carrot characters. It's the uniform."
"Relax. The pirate is harmless."
"Hey, looky! Jughead Double Digests on sale, 5 for $1.00!"
Sparkle,
ReplyDeleteYou can indeed hear those things in the shop. However it's only on Sundays.
"I've met you - you ARE crazy! Not sure about the shirt though."
What's with this annonymous tomfoolery? Who are you that doubts the power of NoOprah's pretty shirt?
NoOprah has a "pretty shirt"... ::snicker:: That's my favourite line so far today!
ReplyDeleteWell, after "candy m'lady?"...I do like the sound of that. Mmm, free candy.