So the other night I was at the movies and in the lobby was a large cardboard stand-up advertising a new Pixarian film called KUNG-FU PANDA.
Seems like a cute idea. Giant panda that uses the lost art of kung-fu.
Kung-Fu Panda.
I was sold just by the name alone.
Until I got to my seat and the lights went dim.
The show started by having a 'presentation' of the rules of the cinema told to me by...yup, the KUNG-FU PANDA.
No this, no that. No Cell Phones.
And then he got angry and pointed right at me and said in his deep menacing Panda voice: "AND NO TEXTING!! People can hear YOU!!"
Keep in mind I was at an IMAX theatre about to see the Rolling Stones. Nobody could hear me texting. If in fact I was texting.
Which I was.
Until ScoldyLocks shamed me.
I HATE CHEW KUNG-FU PANDA!!!
You! You! STOP TEXTING!
ReplyDeleteWhen that panda commercial came on in my theatre, I sent a text to the theatre management telling them I wished their stupid panda was attacked by a Fenway hawk.
ReplyDelete(Okay, not really...but I wanted to.)
"Get your hands off my cell phone ya damn dirty Panda!"
ReplyDeleteI don't blame you for texting during the Rolling Stone movie. I would have been bored out of my mind, too...
ReplyDeleteJoey D-
ReplyDeleteYou're dead to me.
Dead.
Dear Mr. Doherty:
ReplyDeleteMe as well.
AND I'll be sending the panda around to visit you.
Love,
Cake
Joey D-
ReplyDeleteNO COMMENTING on the STONES until you've seen them!
Woo-Woo!
ReplyDelete::beats Joe up::
Scold Brown Shoe
ReplyDeletePanda Lane
Please Mr. PandaMan
I Am The Panda
Text-it To Ride
Text and Shout
While My Cell Phone Gently Beeps
Mean Mr. Panda
I thought they already used that kung-fu panda idea in a film. It starred Chris Farley, I believe.
ReplyDeleteSince Scorsese directed this, I went thinking I'd see the Stones get beat up by DeNiro and Pesci, then thrown into the trunk of a car and shot.
ReplyDeleteThat didn't happen, but the Stones did look like they got beat up.
I texted Joe D. through the whole film, telling him how bored I was.
Dear HorrorU,
ReplyDeleteNO TEXTING!
You're a lot bossier than that panda.
ReplyDeleteMe?
ReplyDeleteBuncha savages around this blog today, I tell ya.
ReplyDeleteNO CALLING ME BOSSY!
ReplyDeleteHorrorU, thank you for the texting of the movie. I had insomnia until I read about the Stones.
ReplyDeleteNo seriously...the Stones movie must be wonderful. You don't see a lot of movies from the AARP Production company.
NO TAUNTING!
ReplyDeleteNO SLEEPING!
ReplyDelete::makes shape of imaginary glass box....kung-foos it::
ReplyDeleteI HATE JHEWS!
ReplyDeleteNoOprah,
ReplyDeleteIf Joe D. is dead to you ...can I have his gun?
NO EATING COOKIES! I HATE CHEM!
ReplyDeleteSaul:
ReplyDeleteNO GUNS!
Crap.
ReplyDelete"YOWWWWCH!!!!!!"
ReplyDeleteBrrr.
ReplyDelete"I used to have to walk 10 kilometers in the rain to get to school when I was you age..."
ReplyDelete"Wanna buy some cheap penicillin?"
ReplyDelete"I ain't wearing any pants."
ReplyDeleteYou spelled kilometres wrong.
ReplyDelete"Beam me up, Scoldy."
ReplyDeleteI like origami.
ReplyDeleteA long time ago, with a panda far far away...
ReplyDelete"You will live a long and fruitful life....send IANO a dollar."
ReplyDelete::folds aces over jacks::
ReplyDeleteYodel-Ay-Ee-Oooo!
ReplyDelete::burp::
ReplyDeleteYaaaaaaaarr, mateys!
ReplyDelete::in friendly Kung-Fu Panda voice::
ReplyDelete"Sorry Steve, I didn't know it was you."