Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Barack Obama speaks with a retarded kid.


RETARDED KID: "Gum!"

OBAMA: "We must CHANGE the way we chew GUM! Yes we can!"

RETARDED KID: "Gum!"

OBAMA: "We must CHANGE the way we care for our GUMS! Yes we can!"

RETARDED KID: "Gum!"

OBAMA: "We must CHANGE the way our elderly are cared for and how they eat their food! Yes we can!"

RETARDED KID: "Shoe!"

OBAMA: "We must CHANGE our tax code so no child is left not wearing SHOES!" Yes we can!"

RETARDED KID: "Shoe!"

OBAMA: "We must CHANGE the way our youth lusts after celebrity endorsed shoes and make them lust after an education! Yes we can!"

RETARDED KID: "Shoe!"

OBAMA: "We must CHANGE our country from one that IMPORTS shoes to one that EXPORTS shoes! Yes we can!"

RETARDED KID: "Knife!"

OBAMA: "We must CHANGE the way our youth looks up to gangs with guns and knifes! We must make them look up to their parents! Yes we can!"

RETARDED KID: "Knife!"

OBAMA: "We must strike down poverty and hunger in the Sudan. Teach them to eat wiith forks and knifes! Yes we can!"

RETARDED KID: "Knife!"

OBAMA'S SECURITY CHIEF: "Hey Barry...you have gum on your shoe...use this to scrap it off."

OBAMA: " No I CAN'T! I'll just CHANGE them!"
---------------

SO TO SUM UP:

Yeah, yeah I know...you could see the punchline coming a mile away. I'll try and CHANGE that next time.

29 comments:

  1. RETARDED KID: Pig!

    PALIN: Why yes, I am wearing a new shade of lipstick. Thank you for noticing!

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is gonna be a tough 50 days with you ain't it?

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm sorry. I forgot you were so sensitive about your new girlfriend.

    ReplyDelete
  4. My daughter was leaving for work this morning and she was complaining of having a bad hair day.

    ME: "Just put it up in a Palin."

    DAUGHTER: :::big smile, puts it up into a Palin:::

    ReplyDelete
  5. IDIOT SAVANT KID: BUSH DOCTRINE!

    PALIN: Why, I didn't realize he was a physician. Who is he healing?

    IDIOT SAVANT KID: NO! BUSH DOCTRINE!

    PALIN: I heard you, sweetheart. He's doctoring! Yaay! Good for him!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I was feeling kicky this morning so I've put my hair up in a Biden.

    Bad idea.

    I hope it all grows back soon...

    ReplyDelete
  7. On the plus side, I imagine you've discovered amazing new pointing and measuring-with-hands skills! (Just use a headband while you're "biden" your time!)

    ReplyDelete
  8. IANO: Sheesh! What have you got against CHANGE, anyway? The more CHANGES the merrier!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlNUrMf9yo0

    ReplyDelete
  9. Sparkle:

    I'm thinking of some CHANGE...I might buzz my hair off and see if I can pull off an Obama. Whattya think?

    ReplyDelete
  10. Bowie for VP! Bowie for VP! Bowie for VP!

    Booooooots!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Cakie: You betcha! You could pull off a 'bama. I'm sure you'd look quite chic--unlike myself, who would no doubt resemble one of the lads in the "rec room" of "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest."

    Lois: Boooooooooooooooooooots! I agree. Bowie would be a solid choice for Veep. Why don't they consult us in these matters?

    ReplyDelete
  12. Q: What's the difference between a hockey mom and David Bowie?

    A: David Bowie looks better in lipstick.

    ReplyDelete
  13. So IANO,
    You're daughter is taking fashion tips from you? I don't know what's worse; the fact that you're giving them or the fact that she's taking them.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous1:20 PM EDT

    What would your name be if you were Sarah Palin's newest retarded kid? I bet you're dying to find out:

    http://personal-space.com/script/script.php

    ReplyDelete
  15. Crunk Petrol Palin!
    (using real name)

    Comma Liberty Palin!
    (using Sparkle--I kinda like this one)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Beans Harpoon Palin.

    But just call me Beans.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Using the blog name I'm:

    Shoulder Frontier Palin

    Just call me Beans.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Just call me:

    Gravel Blood Palin

    Ewww.

    ReplyDelete
  19. My "real' name =
    Taupe Armageddon Palin

    Lois Lane =
    Engine Nighthawk Palin
    (I like this one.)

    ReplyDelete
  20. IANO: Hiya, Beans!

    Cakie: I couldn't let yours rest at that--too reminiscent of a kidney stone. With variants on your blog name, you are also:
    Grill Igloo Palin
    Speck Backfire Palin
    Stinger Assassin Palin (YEAH! VIPER GIRL!)

    Lois: Engine Nighthawk is the best name ever. You are a spitfire female heroine in a postapocalyptic graphic novel. You can fix stuff and FLY! Your super-power: Knowing when mechanics cheat people and flying in to intervene!

    ReplyDelete
  21. I'm not making this up:

    My daughter who works at a school (where town voting was taking place) just called me up and said that numerous people came up to her and said: "Has anybody ever told you that you look like Sarah Palin?"

    Though now I'm creeped out that I have the hots for someone that looks like my daughter....thank god I don't have a son.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Yeah, if you had a son and had a crush on a man who looked like him...that'd make you gay. And that's a lot creepier than crushing on your daughter.

    No, wait, I got that wrong...oh, I'm getting all confused...

    ~Stinger

    ReplyDelete
  23. Yeah check it out:

    Real name = Tank Dent Palin

    Blog name = Trowel Ogre Palin

    They're both so kick as I just can't choose.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Do an amalgam...Tank Orge!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Good to see they're publicly admitting that Deval Patrick is a retarded kid. Sure answers a lot of questions....

    ReplyDelete
  26. I'm glad someone caught that that was a pic of Deval.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Anonymous7:29 PM EDT

    Since I escaped from the retarded state of Massachusetts several years ago (to the land of sunshine and paradise) I did NOT recognize Deval Patrick! Much funnier now...

    ReplyDelete
  28. Anonymous9:21 PM EDT

    Meh, they all look the same to me.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Anonymous11:04 AM EDT

    Moose Roadster Palin

    ReplyDelete