A new cell phone battery and an old retailer joke.

So the other day I needed a new cell phone battery so I went to the Verizon Store in the mall.

ME: "Hi...do you have a cell phone battery for this?"

SCUM-SUCKING WEASEL: "Let me check....ummmm...yes we do. It's $40.00."

ME: "No thank you!"
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So I walked down the mall and found another phone place:

ME: "Hi...do you have a cell phone battery for this?"

DOLT: "They're $50.00 but we don't carry them."

ME: "If you don't carry them why don't you just not carry them at $3.00?"

DOLT: :::blank puzzle genius stare:::

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So I walked down the mall some more and found another phone place:

ME: "Hi...do you have a cell phone battery for this?"

TOM: "Yes we do...they are $40.00"

ME: "I'll give you $20.00 but first you have to swear on my child's life that it's brand new."

TOM: "$20 is fine and I SWEAR it's brand new."

ME: "You better not be fucking me."

TOM: "I swear."

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So now we just sit and wait and find out if my kid dies before the battery.