Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Brain Cancer: The New Sex Change



So yesterday was opening day for The Boston Red Sox.

The senior senator from Massachusetts, Ted Kennedy, threw out the first pitch.

Problem is he didn't throw it very far. Estimates are around five feet.

They gave him a mulligan and the next throw was a bit farther (further?)

As you know Uncle Ted has brain cancer.

Why it makes him throw like a girl is beyond me.

Cancer works in mysterious ways.

So does Ted.

SO TO SUM UP:
Red Sox are in first place. Yankees stink. And Ted Kennedy throws like Rose Kennedy.
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11 comments:

  1. Cake11:38 AM EDT

    "They gave him a mulligan"

    You 'Mericans sure talk funny.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I Ain't No Oprah12:24 PM EDT

    Dear Canadian Loser,


    The USGA Museum offers several possible explanations. In one, a fellow by the name of David Mulligan frequented St. Lambert Country Club in Montreal, Quebec, during the 1920s. Mulligan let it rip off the tee one day, wasn't happy with the results, re-teed, and hit again.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Phil Rizzuto12:45 PM EDT

    Ted's throw went 5 feet?

    Blame Bush

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ted (where's my pants?) Kennedy1:45 PM EDT

    Are you mocking me?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Cake1:54 PM EDT

    Dear IANO Loser...no, wait...that's redundant...

    I'll just give myself a mulligan and try again.

    Dear IANO:

    Thanks!

    Sincerely,
    Cake

    ReplyDelete
  6. Cop Eckne3:22 PM EDT

    Poor Teddy...His throwin' arm ain't been the same since the Chappaquiddick Triathlon.

    ReplyDelete
  7. the REAL Ted Kennedy3:23 PM EDT

    As if John Kerry could've done better!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Al Gore3:25 PM EDT

    I invented baseball.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Bush4:05 PM EDT

    It's actually my fault.

    ReplyDelete
  10. The Cancerous Beatles4:06 PM EDT

    All You Need is Chemo?

    ReplyDelete
  11. W10:51 PM EDT

    I ain't no girlie-man, I threw an opening pitch strike last Tuesday.

    ReplyDelete