The First SNIPPETS of 2010

ME: "We should make a romantic comedy."

WIFEY: "Do you mind taking the DVD out of my ass?"

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WIFEY: "You're annoying."

ME: "I'm not annoying."

WIFEY: "Yes you are...you're annoying."

ME: "How do you figure?"

WIFEY: "You annoy me."

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ME TO GUY AT PARTY: "Do you know any good roofers?"

GUY AT PARTY: "I know good people. I know roofers. I don't know any good roofers."

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ME: "Look at this new romantic app I got just for us"

(shows Wifey cracklin' fire app)

WIFEY: ::rolls eyes::

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ME: "So let me get this straight...you have an i-phone but you don't want to use the i-pod feature on it or any apps??"

MADDOG: "Correct."

ME: "So why did you even bother getting the i-Phone?

MADDOG: "For the phone."

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THE FLASHDANCE GUY: "Are you watching The Winter Classic?"

ME: "I'm at work."

THE FLASHDANCE GUY: "Oh, I thought you might have had the day off and were watching The Winter Classic."

ME: "But you called me at the store."

THE FLASHDANCE GUY: "I thought you might be at home."

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MY LISTING ON EBAY: "Will only ship within the USA"

GUY FROM DENMARK: "Can you ship it to Denmark?"

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CIRCLE JERK GUY: "Hey, Bud!"

ME: "Hey."

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HOAGY: "Why don't you come in tonight and say hello to my wife."

ME: "Okay...why?"

HOAGY: "She said you never come in anymore."

ME: "So she wants me to come in?"

HOAGY: "She didn't really say that...she just commented on the fact that you don't come in anymore. Maybe she likes that you don't come in anymore."

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ME: "So, do you know about the trip out west or is it a surprise from Hoag?"

HOAG'S WIFE: "What trip out west?"

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