Possibly the best dog poop story ever.

So around four in the morning my puppy wakes me up.

She needs to go outside.

Outside is actually my garage. And outside means poop.

My puppy is tiny and just needs a small amout of area to poop on.

We carpet that area with newspapers.

So pup squats and leaves a little tootsie roll sized poop.

I grab some toilet paper and pick it up.

It's four in the morning. I'm tired. It's cold in the garage.

She squats again. Another tootsie roll. I pick it up.

Using toilet paper.

She squats again.

I reach down to pick it up. (with a hand full of toilet paper)

I feel nothing.

I clearly saw the poop she left.

I adjust my eyes.

No poop.

Where is the poop??

It's not on me. It's not on my feet.

I didn't pick it up. Puppy didn't eat it.

I look again.

And there on the newspaper I spot the 'poop'.

Turns out the 'poop' in question was actually just a small picture of Obama on the newspaper.

True story.

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SO TO SUM UP:

It was four in the morning and my dog was doing racial jokes.