Saturday, March 27, 2010

The Horror Is Coming!


It's spring.

Buds on the trees.

Birds. Bugs.

It's spring.

The horror coming.

Soon.

The temps have to get a bit warmer.

The horror is coming but we don't yet know in what guise.

It's coming soon.

I'm afraid. I have the Scaredy Cat Blues.

You know you've been planning and saving all winter.

What horrible trendy fashion statement are you bitches gonna bring this year?

We've been thru a decade of crocs and capris. Pajama jeans and skinny jeans.

Juicy sweats.

What'll be this year, Girly-girls?

What terrible thigh thickening fashion faux pas do you have up your sleeve or leg or stocking?

"VIBRANT COLORS ARE IN!!"

"AS SEEN ON OPRAH!"

"BAGGY IN THE BUTT, TIGHT ON THE CALVES! THEY WAY YOU LIKE THEM!"

It's coming.

We all know it's coming.

You'll flip through the racks. Look at the window displays.

You'll actually believe THAT YOU CAN PULL THIS LOOK OFF!!!

But you can't.

You won't.

You will look thick.

I will hate it.

You will buy and wear it anyhow.

I will long for the days of old, the days of capris and crocs and Juicy sweats.


SO TO SUM UP:
I will be wearing Levis and faded shirts. And my lucky fishing shirt.

4 comments:

  1. Hey Juicy Sweats

    I'll Follow The Trends

    ReplyDelete
  2. A few random comments:

    1) I thought this post was gonna be about the King of the Douchebag Birds. Has he arrived yet this year?

    2) Most designers are men. Thanks a lot, losers.

    3) I will be wearing my cotton buttoned shirts and jeans. The odd skirt. Maybe a dress. Like every year. Oh and praying I don't gain any weight and hafta go shopping...I'm Abby Normal in terms of womenfolk.

    4) Did you hear Rantz is leaving Facebook?

    5) Nothing for #5.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Definitely not a priest, nope4:36 PM EDT

    "stroked the upper part of his body. And while doing so, sometimes, I kind of accidentally slipped deeper."

    Is it getting hot in here or is it just me?

    ReplyDelete
  4. cousin saul4:40 PM EDT

    Cake,
    There's almost nothing prettier on a woman than a button-down shirt and jeans!

    ReplyDelete