The Cold

JIM: "My cold is worse than yours."

ME: "How can you say that?"

JIM: "I was shaking."

ME: "I was shaking."

JIM: "You wouldn't have been able to go to work if yours was as bad as mine."

ME: "Of course I would have. I don't take days off because I have a cold."

JIM: "If it was as bad as mine you would have taken a day off."

ME: "I'm not a pussy like you."

JIM: "Mine was clearly worse."

ME: "Nope. You're just a pussy."

JIM: "I had a fever. Sore throat. The shakes. My whole body hurt."

ME: "You mean you had a cold?"

JIM: "Yes. Worse than yours."

ME: "This is the dumbest argument ever."

JIM: "I'm telling you...no way you could have worked if you were as sick as me."

ME: "But I did."