Wifey doesn't tell me about stuff.
(See the above picture)
How the heck was I supposed to know about thick cut bacon??
By going into the grocery store by myself. That's how.
Thick Cut Bacon.
So I buy some and bring it home.
Here is the conversation that followed:
ME: "Look what I found!"
WIFEY: "Gross."
ME: "Why didn't you tell me about this??"
WIFEY: "You're going to die of a heart attack."
ME: "You're going to die from something else."
I think it's cute that you're actually going into grocery stores now...this is, what, the third time in your life?
ReplyDelete(The novelty wears off around the fourth time, sorry to tell you...and it's absolutely no fun around the 40th.)
I Want to Hold Your Clot
ReplyDeleteResuscitate Me Do
Maxwell's Silver Stethoscope
Back in the E.R.
Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except for Me and My Arteries
Ob-la-beat, Ob-la-flatline
ReplyDeleteThe French scout comes back to the English base all shot up.
ReplyDeleteHe says to the commandant"
"Mon General, hit is a Bacon tree!
And he dies.
"Bloody frogs" "What the Deuce is a bacon tree?"
Second scout is sent out, comes back with the same story.
A bacon tree
Third, fourth, fifth.
They're running out of scouts.
Sixth scout comes back shot up, general rushes over to him and shouts:
"Quick Pierre, tell me what happened, and spare me this "bacon tree nonsense!"
Oh, mon general, those other guys,
they no speak the Henglish too good. Hit's not a bacon tree,
HIT'S A HAM BUSH!