The Battle of the Olympic Male Bulge

So we were watching the Olympics the other night. Here is part of the conversation:

WIFEY: "Did you see that?"

ME: "What?"

WIFEY: "His package."

ME: "His package?"

WIFEY: "The bulge in his pants."

ME: "I wasn't looking there."

WIFEY: "You were looking there!!"

ME: "I don't look at male packages."

WIFEY: "What about on buddy nite?"

ME: "What the heck are you talking about?"

WIFEY: "You don't check out {real name} Hoagy?"

ME: "Why the heck would I check out Hoagy's package?"

WIFEY: "Aren't you curious?"

ME: "You're out of your mind."

WIFEY: "If you're behind him when you're walking into the restaurant do you look at him?"

ME: "You are nuts...I'm looking at chicks."

WIFEY: "You don't notice what {real name} Hoagy is wearing?"

ME: "Everybody notices what Hoagy is wearing."