I Ain't No Oprah

So last night I was watching a show with Rob Lowe (actually it was a show starring Rob Lowe)....I was watching with Wifey. At one point I ...

(Thanks Maddog)

So yesterday I went out for breakfast. Just a local place, not The International House of Pancakes.  As I ate I thought about The Inter...

This man came in yesterday wearing a nice grey suit. Good shoes. Mid-late 50s. Looked like an insurance guy. Maybe an accountant. He looked ...

A young kid comes into the store. Looks around. Comes up to the counter. Here is the conversation: KID: "I have a roll of quarters in m...

TIME: Around 11:00 pm. PLACE: Darkened room upstairs. THE PLAYERS: Me and Wifey. (Or is that Wifey and I?) SCENARIO: I started clowning arou...

BANK MANAGER TO EVERYONE IN BANK: "Did anybody leave this folder here?" ME: "Is there any money in it?"

Dear Rodney King, I'm thinking of building a house. Should I use wood or brick? Thank you, Trayvon --- Dear Trayvon, Usually I would say...

I've been reading a lot about the black kid and the pinkish/brownish Jewish guy who shot him. I'm trying to see both sides of this s...

As you probably heard, me and The Hoag have formed a band. I came up with BOO. Cake thinks we should be called YOU SUCK. If it's one of ...

So last night on my way home I decided to start a band. So I texted Hoag. ME: "I'm starting a band....do you want to be my singer?...

So last night Wifey and I go out to shop for a painting. We find said painting. Said painting is large. Said painting doesn't fit in my ...

Dear Rodney, How do I avoid trouble when I walk through white neighborhoods? Thank you, Trayvon --- Dear Trayvon, Always use caution when vi...

Have a hoodsie today in honor of Trayvon.

WIFEY: "You make so much noise when you eat cereal!" ME: "It's Capt. Crunch. It's supposed to be noisy." ---- Wi...

Last night I had sausage. Sausage makes me dream about The Monkees and baseball. I was sitting in section #1 of Fenway Park. The worst secti...