I Ain't No Oprah

Three fat chicks were standing WAY over there >. Two guys were over THAT < way. Here is what was said: ONE OF THE GUYS: "H...

And I have two daughters to prove it!!

We said the word 'Brony' over 200 hundred times. Our table was reserved under the names Butch and Sundance. We were called Hoagy...

So Mitt Romney just picked Paul Ryan as his running mate. I never heard of him before. So I read up on him. Turns out he used to wor...

And I come up with the best response ever! EVER! Hopefully someone, sometime in the future, will ask me if I sell Fitzwillies. Cuz I...

So we were watching the Olympics the other night. Here is part of the conversation: WIFEY: "Did you see that?" ME: "What?...

So this old couple goes to Germany for vacation, and they're doing the whole tour. And they get into a big fight on the bus, an...

1. Female voices have returned to their normal dulcet tones. 2. With AC now pouring thru the whole country it is down to a chilling 108 de...

Now if I could only think of something to blog about...

It sounds just like a regular guy sneezing. I was expecting more.

Smokestacks come out of the ground while a bunch of Abe Lincolns smoke cigars and then they wheel in some kids on beds and the nurses tell t...

Yup. That's what I use. This morning I opened up a new one. Generic store brand packaging. Until I looked a little closer. It ...

They are mostly on that brown sugar cinnamon pop tart. Sitting right there. C'mere....

You've probably read about by now. Crazy loner shoots up a Colorado movie theatre killing 12 people. So I've been reading the ne...

So last night around midnight the smoke detector goes off. As per our pre-arranged fire plan nobody knew what to do. I go wandering ...

Fran stops in my store every so often. He's been stopping in for the past four decades. I wish I wrote down everything he has sai...