I Ain't No Oprah

A male porn star is out in his yard raking leaves when he spots his neighbor outside. They start talking about this and that...small talk mo...

This morning I was writing out a few checks to suppliers when I noticed I was running low on blank checks. I went to the little box I keep...

CUSTOMER: "Is today Batman Day?" ME: "No...yesterday was." CUSTOMER: "What is today?" ME: "Thursday...

So about an hour ago a priest came into my shop. He was young...maybe early 30s. First time in. We started taking about toys and stuff. We...

MOM TO DAUGHTER: "So just look around the store, pick out what you want, and I'll order it from Amazon." ME:  "You do k...

A woman in her late sixties came in my shop the other day. Here is that conversation. WOMAN: "Hello...do you have balls?" ME: ...

In my shop I'm selling a leather jacket. A guy came in the other day and started looking at it. Touching it. Asking about it. Here i...

I was away over the weekend and I saw this dude. So did thousands of other people as they walked by. Most people pretended he was invisibl...

Sometimes at my shop people will ask to use the bathroom. The vast majority of them use it the way it's supposed to be used. But I...

Sad news my friends. I thought in his honor I'd re-blog a post from 2006. It's under the dotted line.  It's G-R-R-R-REAT! ...

The doctor gave me some medicine the other day. On the sheet of paper with all of the instructions and warnings it says: 'If vaginal...

I needed caulk. Badly. I kept putting it off and putting it off but finally this week I decided to do what needed to be done. I n...

Yesterday was kinda windy. In walks a retarded guy. Blathering on and on like retarded guys do. I doubt retarded guys mind being called ...

I'm not sure when this happened but I was told about it Saturday night. It seems my Son-in-Law saw my wife's name written out some...

So a mother was in my shop today with her eight year old daughter. Here is the conversation I overheard. MOM: "Do you want a skull bu...

CUSTOMER: "What is this?" ME: "That's a baseball." CUSTOMER: "What's it for?" ME: "To play ...