Dumpster Questions

So last week we decided to do a large purge at the house.

We wanted to clean out the basement, the attic, and the room over the garage.

It was all stuff that at one point thought we'd want later in life. Old folks love broken VCRs and children's books. And old bureaus. And bed frames. Old computers. Christmas decorations.

And stuff.

And stuff.

And stuff.

So we rented one of those huge construction site type dumpsters.

$360.00 and that cost is based on weight.

So I asked the lady at the dumpster place a few questions.

Here is part of that conversation:

ME: "So if the cost is based on weight what happens if it rains and all the stuff I throw in there gets soaked with water?

HER: "What do you mean?"

ME: "For example...if I throw a mattress away won't it absorb the water and weigh way more?"

HER: "It should dry out. By the way...we did tell you that there is an additional charge of $30.00 for throwing away a mattress?

ME: "What about a box spring?"

HER: "Let me check.....:::time::::.....Yup....$30.00."

ME: "But a box spring isn't a mattress....is it?"

HER: "$30.00."

ME: "What if I break up the box spring?"

HER: "Let me check...:::time:::...if you break it up there would be no additional charge."

ME: "So sometimes you DON'T charge for a mattress."

HER: "I guess."

ME: "What else do I get charged extra for?"

HER: "Tires are $25.00."

ME: "What if they are tires from my kid's tri-cycles?"

HER: "Regular sized tires."

ME: "So giant tractor tires are free?"

HER: "Those would be $25.00."

ME: "So not just regular sized tires?"

HER: "Correct."

ME: "Anything else?"

HER: "Appliances are $40.00."

ME: "So I'm gonna be charged $40.00 for trhowing away a $10.00 toaster!!!???"

HER: "Large appliances."

ME: "Is a blender a large appliance?"

HER: "No."

ME: "Pasta maker?"

HER: "No."

ME: "Ice cream maker?"

HER: "No."

ME: "Bread maker?"

HER: "No."

ME: "So what is a large appliance?"

HER: "Washer and dryer. Ovens.

ME: "What about a toaster oven. That's an oven."

HER: "Are you having fun?"

ME: "I just don't like surprises."

HER: "Any other questions?"

ME: "I just want to get something straight...I'm paying $360.00 to get rid of my trash but you charge me extra for trash."

HER: "Yes."

ME: "Thank you."

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This is the shortened version of the actual conversation. At one point I was making up appliances and she stayed professional the whole time.