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I might.
"It's over for us. If this oil comes ashore, it's just over for us," Rowell said angrily, rubbing his forehead. "Nobody wants no oily shrimp."
"Oh, That Wifey!"
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December
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- Funny New Year's Resolutions
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December
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My dog.
9 comments:
The light bulb didn't burn out on schedule! It's a bloody miracle! We must celebrate for all eternity! Thank you! Baruch Hashem!
I made latkes for supper the other night...really.
They were easily a million times better than avocados. (Not that I have any issues with avocados, mind.)
Ach, if only I vas shtill around, der yids vould not be allowed to zing der shtupid song.
Of course, if I vas shtill around, der yids vouldn't be either
"Ach"
Shicklegruber sounds more Scottish than German...
Och, Probably, tha Gruber side o' me family be Dutch, not Deitch, though they do like to pretend.
Or maybe they're Austrian.
Or something.
Does that news put a tilt in yer kilt?
Oh Hannukah
Our fav'rit holiday
When we all go out
And play with fire all day
With glowing wicks
On menorah sticks
They burn out just like Sox
We stand and watch
The candles' light
Until we sayay good night!
Oh Hannukah
You're almost over here
If we want some more
We'll have a beer
And just wait 'til next year
Oh Hannukah
Our homes are near aflame
We stand and watch oh Hannukah
And hope God brings us rain!
God keep our homes
Wet and fireproof
We pray for rain
We pray for rain you see
Oh Hannukah
Maybe we'll just piss on the damn candles and put 'em out that way.
Dear My Landsman:
I'm not sure I get it but A+ for effort.
::passes over the latkes::
Dear Cakey-wakey:
The megillah in a nutshell:
We are ultra orthodox, the real deal.
You are reform, you filthy heretics.
We all gonna kill all you-all because we're holier than thou. Literally. And not only do we not have any Greek friends, we wouldn't have any if they asked us. So there. Now we gonna kill your pals too.
(Later) Hey, we got our temple back after them filthy Greeks was here. Bet they desecrated it, chomping on their G-dforsaken bacon double cheeseburgers, the bastards. By the way, could someone turn on the lights? It's dark in here. Oh, that's nice, they're on.
(Later) Come to think of it, those lights have been on an awful long while. Must be a faulty timer, or maybe a divine miracle. Divine miracle it is, we can celebrate and commemorate that for the next 3,000 years or so. What?We need more to celebrate? How about a military victory? They're always fun. Let's see... Military always wants to grab the high ground. Let's do that- There's a nice big flat space on top of that Masada Hill over there...
GOT IT. Yay! We Win! We're number one! We're number one! Now what do we do? Why, let's all kill ourselves! That's always good for a laugh! We'll go down in history. They might even name a food after us, by combining pasta with honey instead of that Kraft crap. Yeah, people will lunch on MacaBee's not Mac 'nCheese! Sounds good? Let's do it!
And there ya go kiddies, the basic story of Hannukah, slightly edited for modern sensibilities.
Always happy to help, me.
Avodaos? No issues with avocados? Avocados make goat shit look appetizing.
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