My Superman Returns movie review

So I get out of work and rush to the theater to meet Bacon Ace, The Half Bee, and Stu my lawyer (Hoag didn't want to go because he needed to find new lipstick or buy a new apron or something) to see Superman Returns. No time to eat before the movie so my options are Sour Patch Kids or Hot Dogs at the concession stand. I look at the Kids. I look at the hot dogs. I want the hot dogs. I order the hot dogs. The concession stand engineer says: "Let me see if they're cooked" and then takes out this huge meat thermometer and jams it into my penis...ummmmm....I mean jams it into the hot dog lengthwise to see if it's cooked. After conducting his Dr. Menegele experiment on my penis...ummmmm....I mean...ummmm....on the hot dog, he informs me it aint cooked yet and to try back in about ten minutes.

Now if I were to own a theater I might just want to have those freakin' hot dogs cooked BEFORE the movie starts.

Anyhow,...I order popcorn and a bargain priced bottled water and go to my seats and wait about ten minutes for my penis...ummmmm...I mean hot dog to get fully cooked.

I return to said concession stand when new hot dog engineer takes out Penis Death Prong and jams into the center of my penis...ummmm....I mean hot dog and once again informs me it aint quite yet cooked.

I order a small pizza and return to my seat.

I might have been watching Superman Returns but my thoughts were with meat thermometers jammed into my penis.

SPOILER WARNING FOR MOVIE CONTENT:

There is a cannibal dog in this movie and I must say that this is my favorite of all cannibal dog movies. Ever.