Six seconds of awesome.

Happy Birthday, Dinkweed!

Your new favorite baseball player of all time!

Have you ever said something that you instantly wished you could take back?

Last night it happened to me.

I was sitting at a restaurant bar finishing up my dinner.

The bartender approached me.

Here is the conversation:

BARTENDER: "Would you like another beer?"

ME: "Negatory, Big Ben!"



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I'm now quoting bad songs from the 1970s to bartenders.

Conan

KID: "Look...Conan O'Brien has his own comic!"

DAD: "Different Conan....that's the barbarian."

KID: "Huh?"

The Homeless Guy

So this homeless guy is standing outside of my shop.

Long beard.

Dirty clothes.

Flood pants.

Flip-flops on his filthy feet.

Long fingernails.

Tattered shopping bags stuffed with newspapers.

You know, homeless.

Did I mention I put a large box of record albums outside today for FREE?

The Homeless Guy spots said records.

FREE RECORDS!

And what does he do?

He starts taking the records out of the sleeves and inspecting them for scratches.

CUSTOMER: "Do you have the tin dog from Doctor Who?"

ME: "Sorry...we're all sold out of the tin dog."

Boston Marathon

So who won the race?

Play Ball! (kinda)