Saturday, April 28, 2012


So last night I was watching a show with Rob Lowe (actually it was a show starring Rob Lowe)....I was watching with Wifey.

At one point I turned to Wifey and said: "He has great hair!"

After the show was over I went back to reading 50 Shades of Grey.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Tuesday, April 24, 2012


So yesterday I went out for breakfast.

Just a local place, not The International House of Pancakes.

 As I ate I thought about The International House of Pancakes.

A house.

Of pancakes.

Think about that for a second.

A house...of PANCAKES!!

An international house.

Of pancakes.

Friday, April 20, 2012

You're hearing this through my grapevine.

This man came in yesterday wearing a nice grey suit.

Good shoes.

Mid-late 50s.

Looked like an insurance guy.

Maybe an accountant.

He looked much older than his years.

Beat down from decades of doing a mundane job.

He bought some comics (for himself? his kids? grandkids?)

I tried a little small talk....nothing.

Shark eyes.

No twinkle at all.

What is this guys life like?

Nagging wife?

Big mortgage?

Crappy kids?

It is Hell, I assume.

Then a Creedence Clearwater song came on the radio.

I Heard It Through The Grapevine.

His eyes came alive.

Just a little.

His finger tapped his thigh.

I noticed.

ME: "I love Creedence!"

HIM: "Me too! I never hear them anymore."

(I thought...Why not? I hear them every day)

ME: "1970 was a great year. Creedence, comic books..."

HIM: "What's that other song he did...I like that. The baseball one."

ME: "Centerfield."


Point of the story?

I have no idea. Creedence perked up a day.

Monday, April 16, 2012

I actually kept my big mouth shut.

A young kid comes into the store.

Looks around.

Comes up to the counter.

Here is the conversation:

KID: "I have a roll of quarters in my pocket."

ME: ::::silence:::

KID: "I'll pay with these dollars."

ME: "Thank you."

Thursday, April 12, 2012


TIME: Around 11:00 pm.

PLACE: Darkened room upstairs.

THE PLAYERS: Me and Wifey. (Or is that Wifey and I?)

SCENARIO: I started clowning around about something.


WIFEY: "I'm not in the mood for your clowning!"

ME: "Okay."


(Wifey was hiding beside the bureau when she told me that)

Monday, April 09, 2012

My trip to the bank

BANK MANAGER TO EVERYONE IN BANK: "Did anybody leave this folder here?"

ME: "Is there any money in it?"

Friday, April 06, 2012

Ask Rodney King again!

Dear Rodney King,

I'm thinking of building a house. Should I use wood or brick?

Thank you,


Dear Trayvon,

Usually I would say brick, but for you I suggest wood. It looks nicer.

Good luck and have a great life!
Rodney King