More cowbell, less retard.

My wife doesn't read this blog every day (retard), but every month or so she sits down and reads like 20 or 30 posts in a row (retard)....so the other day she tells me that she read a bunch and I decide to ask her a few questions....here is how it went:

ME: So Honey, do you like the blog?

HONEY: Yeah...it's funny but you use the word retard way too much.

ME: Like that comedian on Comedy Central I don't mean retard like people that are born that way...I mean retard in like people like Mel Gibson that become retarded later in life.

HONEY: I don't care...I don't like the word retard. Or stupid. Or large thighs.

ME: You're a retard.

HONEY: No...you are.

ME: Sorry...it's you that are.

HONEY: Nope. You.

ME: Are you retarded?

HONEY: No, but you are.

ME: Me? Retarded? I don't think so.

HONEY: Well you are.

ME: Aint.

HONEY: I think you were born retarded.

ME: I think you were.

HONEY: Nope. You.

ME: You're out of your freakin' retarded mind.

HONEY: You are.

ME: You even look a little retarded.

HONEY: HA! It's you that looks retarded!

ME: Like I was born retarded or became retarded?

HONEY: Both.

ME: You're retarded.

HONEY: You are.

ME: What's for dinner?

HONEY: RetardChow.

ME: Mmmmmmmm....I love RetardChow.

HONEY: I know...that's why I make it for you.

ME: I love you.

HONEY: You're a retard.

ME: You use that word way too much.

HONEY: That's because you're retarded.

ME: I wasn't born retarded.

HONEY: Yes you were.

ME: Are you retarded?

HONEY: Nope...but you are.

ME: *sigh*

HONEY: Are you gonna watch your retarded black and white movies all night?

ME: After all the retards go to bed.

HONEY: Don't call my kids retards.

ME: They're my kids also!

HONEY: Only the retarded one is.

ME: I love you.

HONEY: Don't forget to leave me some money in the morning.

ME: ::muffled voice:: retard.

HONEY: ::climbing the stairs:: Retard.

ME: I HEARD THAT!!!!

HONEY: No you didn't.

ME: How do you know I didn't?

HONEY: Cuz you're retarded.

ME: I love you.

HONEY: I love you too.

KIDS: You're both retarded.