Barbra explaining why she's going back out on tour:
"The increasingly urgent need for private citizen support to combat dangerous climate change, along with education and health issues was the prime reason I decided to tour again," she said. "This will allow me to direct funds and awareness to causes that I care deeply about."
Bite me you pompous asshole.
I don't hate Barbra's guts at all--personally or politically--but, uh...if you're a singer don't you go on tour to frickin' SING? Or, if you're Judy Garland (rip), sing and get all hopped up on the goofballs?
ReplyDeleteLay off the Fox News Nooprah. Does anunomess have any puppy meds she could spare you?
ReplyDeleteWhat are the 236 other reasons?
ReplyDeleteMaybe one of them is that she's Barbra, and thinks that every time she opens her mouth to sing the earth will stop rotating so it can listen.
ReplyDeleteJust a guess.
Funny you should post this...I just got spam on this very subject:
ReplyDelete"Exclusive Floor Seats for All Performances on Barbra Streisand’s U.S. Tour Available for 5 Days Only at www.tickets-for-charity.com!"
::gag::
Yer probly right, Bemisdown! But, what are the other 235 reasons? The ill-advised "I'm hip" afro she sported whilst married to hairdresser Jon Peters? Her painstakingly nails-on-chalkboard correct elocution? The fact that she probly refers to herself in the third person ("Barbra will now go on tour to Educate the Masses!")? Her harsh, hard-hearted rejection of Elliott Gould?
ReplyDeleteEh...it's all just in the noise. Barbra is annoying, but she ain't the biggest problem the world got at the moment.
Reason #1 was because back in the 7th grade my scum sucking music teacher booted me from class because I said I didn't like Barbra(spell it right douchebag)....
ReplyDeleteReasons #2-186 is a little something called Yentl.
And someday I'll remember all the other reasons.
She's a total douche. (she's funny in a couple of movies though)
>>>>>>.Barbra is annoying, but she ain't the biggest problem the world got at the moment. <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<,
ReplyDeleteAccording to my sources she is.
Ah...I forgot allllll about Yentl. That's reasons 1-234, actually.
ReplyDeleteNaw, Godzilla movies teach us that as long as a smidge of genetic material lingers, the source monster can continue on into infinity...transmogrifying into increasingly terrifying versions of itself (and generating direct-to-video sequel after sequel). Thus, despite South Park's happy vision of a Streisand-free planet where Elliott Gould and Jon Peters are free too roam, even Mecha Robert Smith's (Cure or Cureless) mighty powers couldn't be enough to permanently vanquish Barbra.
ReplyDeleteI know too much about Godzilla movies.
Who would win: Nooprah or Mechanooprah?
Sparkle:
ReplyDeleteIt'd be a tie between NoOprah and MechaNoOprah...but most of Boston would be destroyed in the battle.
(Except Cheers, which would live on forever....in syndication.)
Do you have chocolate-coated puppy pills?
ReplyDeleteYum.
No, wait, peanut butter AND chocolate-coated puppy pills.
ReplyDeleteWait, wait, just leave the pills out altogether.
I'm a genius!
I think ANUNOMESS needs to start a blog.
ReplyDeleteI need to read about your adventures.
Hey NoOprah, mind if I leave my kid at your store while I go wait in line for Barbra tickets?
ReplyDeleteThanks! I'll be back for him next week!
Anunomess: Come on...please? we all demeand it!
ReplyDeleteLois: Jak-el was fine...he's a kid that wants stuff. Just like his Mom.
I thought up 10 good reasons that you need a blog, Anunomess.
ReplyDeleteWell, 10 reasons, anyways...
I vote for Celebrity Death Match: Streisand vs. Gibson.
ReplyDeleteAll-you-can-eat buffet of Reese's Cups and $7 wine included with ticket purchase! Whoo!