Friday, September 08, 2006

Not claw...craw!

This has been stuck in my craw for years now. I must vent.

Every year or so Burger King or McDonalds will have a .99 cents Big Mac special or a .99 cents Whopper special and then in small letters will have the disclaimer: PRICES MAY VARY

Dear Douchebags,

Guess what?

If it's a .99 cent special the price CANNOT vary. I hope you die.

I know ,I know...you're professional drivers on a closed course...

Losers.

11 comments:

  1. Anonymous11:57 AM EDT

    I like a .99 cent whopper before I shop Macys "One Day Sale", this Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Quick! Someone get NoOprah a coffee, something fried, and an orange juice! STAT!

    ReplyDelete
  3. When I go to Macy's three-day one day sales, I like to use those coupons that are good for 20% off anything in the store...

    ...except the 8,005 things listed on the back of the coupon that they're *not* valid on.

    ReplyDelete
  4. There's a Dollar Store up the street from me...and I've yet to find anything in it that actually costs $1.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous3:29 PM EDT

    Why is it that you park in a driveway but drive on a parkway?

    ReplyDelete
  6. We are building a fighting force of extraordinary magnitude. We forge our spirits in the traditions of our ancestors. You have our gratitude.

    I would pay a fistful of yen to see that movie again. Sigh. <3

    ReplyDelete
  7. Motheragawd--

    I'm a Rhode Island native. Ever try to explain to a non-Rhode Islander that you eat a grinder and drink a cabinet? And that clam cakes are not frosted?

    Then again, if we can put popcorn in brownies, perhaps a little icing on a clam cake wouldn't be too awful...

    No. I take that back. It would.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Umm, KFC does those all-you-can-eat marshmallow and sweet potato buffets. Since you asked...

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous11:45 PM EDT

    Not the craw -- the CRAW!

    ReplyDelete
  10. KFC does those? I've never seen that.

    But I will.

    Soon.

    Real Soon.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Dear Rhode Islanders,

    I hope you somehow manage to get those "cabinets" into liquid form-otherwise, the visual is just weird to the rest of the non cabinet drinking nation.

    ReplyDelete