I watched the debate last night. It had the four candidates for Governor of Massachusetts.
I can either vote for:
1. A chick that looks like an ugly chick.
2. A chick that looks like a dude.
3. A dude that sounds like a chick
4. Or a dude that has a name like a chick.
They all said they would:
1. Balance the budget.
2. Fight crime.
3. Hire more teachers.
4. Not be in the pocket of special interest groups
5. Reduce property taxes.
6. Fix the roads and bridges.
7. Fertilize my lawn.
8. And a bunch of other stuff.
9. Work hard for the commonwealth.
Here is what they'll really do:
1. Tell me I can't park on the side of the road when there is a snowstorm.
"7. Fertilize my lawn."
ReplyDeletePersonally? Ewww.
Which one has the best costume?
ReplyDeleteDoes the dude who looks like a chick look like an ugly chick? 'Cause if not that might be a consideration in his favor.
ReplyDeleteI'm not endorsing this: I'm just sayin', is all.
-- Lamont Cranston
Can you please just sputter more about Cousin Saul? 'cause that was pretty fun. 50 comments! I believe that's a new Noopie record. So, Cousin Saul should get a Noopie Golden Icepick for his starring role.
ReplyDeleteYes, I'm still not on topic. Okay:
1) It sounds like it might be kind of cozy and warm to "be in the pocket of special interest groups." Maybe a little stinky, depending on the group.
2) Why doesn't Aquaman run (or swim) for governor?
3) Clinky has a wombat who is not running (or crawling) for governor.
Blog Scofflaw Sparkle Plenty
P.S. Thanks for joining in my pasta gangster name hijacking, Lamont! You rock me like a hurricane!
It’s American politics as usual. Never give us a candidate we actually like and then complain about low voter turn out. Like always, it's a case of who is the lesser of the running evils.
ReplyDeleteLet's review, if I've not confused your chick analogies:
Go with 1. (Healy): They have more to prove after the last few years of BD blame. It won't be a confident or high expectation vote, but it looks to be the lesser evil. [sorry Beem]
If you go for 3. (Patrick): Mexico and South America will be at 0 population and we will all be speaking Spanish and Portuguese just to survive (or are some of us already doing that?).
Send him back to Illinois and let them deal with him there.
Mihos is running on ego with a personal vendetta attack against Republican woman, since his past well-aired altercation with Swift (and probably rightly so with Swift). He clearly hates woman in general and would have done better in the 1920’s through 50’s elections. He’s clearly out of date and old Boston.
PS: It’s the Mayor who runs amok regarding parking bans, the Gov. could care less. When the city removes all the residents parking cones, chairs and such, they should dump them on the Mayor’s driveway.
That's all I have to say on the subject. Obrigado and Gracias!
Oh, dear lord. I feel compelled to be semi-serious. I will go administer an icepick to myself swiftly post-posting.
ReplyDeleteHealy=lesser evil? OOFAH! On what freaking planet?
Patrick=illegal immigrant smuggling coyote? OOFAH! C'mon, pappy! Let's guard the borders with PITCHFORKS!
Mihos=clearly anti-woman...changed his name to a subtle version of "My ho's." OOFAH!
New Boston=Old Boston. As always. OOFAH! There are so many dusty layers of Old Boston that they put New Boston in New Hampshire.
Parking=It should always be freeeeeee everywhere! All sides of the street! Especially when my damn meter runs out.
Ah. America. Home of the many opinions. A beautiful thing. Anyhoo, headed back over the border now where the salsa's tastier.
I'm up for the challenge. Do I have to be a Massachusetts (or U.S. resident) to run?
ReplyDeleteAnd is the wombat available for the Lt. Gov. slot?
"Aquaman/Wombat in '06: For a fishier, furrier America"
Sparkle Plenty:
ReplyDeleteBack over the border? You mean to the Lower East Side?
'Cause let's face it, New York City ain't part of America. And we like it just fine like that.
As for rocking you like a hurricane... well, now, that depends on which hurricane it is, doesn't it? I mean, if it's Floyd, fine, but if it's Katrina, I'm gonna have to take an exception or two to it.
Getting back to MA politicians... I think my dear mother once said that Maria Schriver "looks like a truck driver. A pretty truck driver, to be sure, but a truck driver nonetheless."
I'm not sure if she meant that as a compliment or not. She's inscrutable in her ineffable Jewish way.
-- Lamont Cranston
P.S. How would wombat go with salsa?
I prefer your earlier, funnier posts.
ReplyDeleteFor you, Aquaman, it is sufficient to be a Citizen of Stan Lee's Amazing Marvel Universe. And, yah: Choose the wombat as your running mate! Get that wombat vote.
ReplyDeleteAckcherly, Lamont--I meant over the border to Canada! They have delicious salsa that you put on the fries with gravy (with or w/out wombat)! Wheeeee!
ReplyDeleteHurricane Floyd? Hurricane Katrina? Whatever floats your boat, buddy. I am still waiting for "Hurricane Lemuel"--a solid, old Vermont farming name that never occurs to those hurricane namers.
"I meant over the border to Canada! They have delicious salsa that you put on the fries with gravy (with or w/out wombat)!"
ReplyDeleteOh yes, poutine...$2.99 for salsa/fries, $3.99 if you want extra wombat.
(NoOprah, Sparkle's gone OOFAHing mad...can't you do something?!)
Nooprah, if you're gonna pick MA politics for topic, you're gonna get me into trouble, again.
ReplyDeleteI'm particularly cranky today.
[obrigado]
Would the debate have been more entertaining if I'd run across the screen at the very end?
ReplyDeleteI would've enjoyed it a lot more, myself, if that hot, crucial-to-the-plot psychiatrist from The Departed had been in it. Rowr.
ReplyDelete>>>>For you, Aquaman, it is sufficient to be a Citizen of Stan Lee's Amazing Marvel Universe.<<<<
ReplyDeleteDear Sparkle,
Everyone knows that Aquaman lives in the DC universe and not Marvel's...what kinda comics fan are you anyhow? Archie?
Poor Sparkle...she had a 50/50 chance at guessing right.
ReplyDeleteHow do you figure 50/50? there are over 500 different comic publishers out there.
ReplyDeleteIs someone talking to me??
ReplyDeleteAquaman was always my favorite Marvel Universe character. I'm so glad I created him.
ReplyDeleteFor Bacon Ace:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.baconunwrapped.com/
Hoagy and IANO:
ReplyDeleteDid you get your schedules and exhibitor passes? Don't forget, the hall opens at 10am sharp!
See you tomorrow.
I'm in the Marvel Universe now?????
ReplyDeleteDamn you Infinite Crisis!!!!!
Hey, wait....X-chicks.
He-llloooo, ladies!
Dear Noopie,
ReplyDeleteStan Lee is god. Ultimately, he made every last one of us. If you don't know that, you don't know your head from a flaming carrot.
Dear Cakie,
OOFAH!
Dear Anunomess,
Sorry!
Dear Aquaman,
Have fun!
Sparkle,
ReplyDeleteI Googled Stan Lee...He didn't LOOK like God.
God has a big white beard, doesn't He?
And God would NEVER need glasses. He gets 20/20 vision for etenity.
Hi, Bemisdown! No, no--Stan Lee is God. The big, white beard guy is Santa. As far as the perfect vision thing goes, God used to have contacts--then he realized that He'd made vanity a sin and He started wearing the specs.
ReplyDeleteI am, of course, an expert not just in comic books but in religion!
Yours very piously,
Sparkle