So I'm driving to work this morning mentally writing today's blog (It was gonna be all about cheese and crackers) when all of a sudden I notice the guy in front of me had one of those special license plates proclaiming that he was an EX-POW. He's wearing that license plate as a badge of honor.
HEY DOUCHEBAG...that plate proclaims that you were a crappy soldier and got caught by some 20 year old Kraut or Charlie or something and sat out the rest of the war in some cushy hotel eating cheese and crackers while the real soldiers were getting shot at.
Stop wearing it so proudly.
(Notice the clever way I still managed to work in cheese and crackers into today's blog?)
I wish I were a POW right now.
ReplyDeleteI want cheese and crackers.
POWs get cheese and crackers? Aw man, they're so lucky.
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of cheese and crackers? I wanna be a POW too. Where do I go to surrender?
>>>>POWs get cheese and crackers?>>>
ReplyDeleteYup. It's in section 7.8 of the Genoa Salami convention
Lois,
ReplyDeleteI hear France is a good place for surrendering. As an added bonus, they have really good cheese.
Oui! France it is! And I hear they have wine there too!
ReplyDeleteLet's go!
Lois:
ReplyDeletePOWs get wine, too???
Damnit, I should've joined the military...
France is also an outstanding place to not work out.
ReplyDeleteJe suis la!
>>>>>Did you drive up next to him and yell MOW! MOW! while holding a pistol to your head?<<<<<<<<<<,
ReplyDeleteNope...but Hoagy once threw a firecracker at a Vietnam Vet and the dude went all flashback psycho on Hoag screaming and stuff.
It was pretty cool.
If whoever gets to Paris first, and surrenders, could please save me a seat near the wine, I'd be very grateful.
ReplyDelete1)The Democrats are ruining the country.
ReplyDelete2) I have to pay for my own health insurance.
3) POWs are shameless self promoters.
4) People are complaining about spelling errors.
5) They don't pay teachers enough.
6) I'm not a Mr Cake.
7) Nothing for number 7
8) The nothing for number 7 joke is all used up.
9) This is a comb!
10) I've got a song stuck in my head
11) I fell down and my husband laughed at me because it was wicked funny.
12) There is no Hoagy.
13) too many people use anonymous
Oh I'm sorry, I thought you wanted some "whine". My bad.
-
Yeah, and it would be a real shame if I got all crazy with post-traumatic stress and had to come down there and fuck you all up and burn your little funny-book store to the ground.
ReplyDeleteYou're on the list now, freedom-hater.
Yeah, and it would be a real shame if I got all crazy with post-traumatic stress and had to come down there and fuck you all up and burn your little funny-book store to the ground.
ReplyDeleteYou're on the list now, freedom-hater.
All those that agree with John McCain please raise their hand above their head...oh wait, John can't raise his hand above his head because he was 'tortured' while he was a 'POW'.
ReplyDeleteSuck it up Nancy!
First, why are we surrendering to the French? You can take over the whole country with an angry letter. Just take France, and drink their wine...Wisconsin and Vermont have better cheeses anyway. French cheese smells like French people. 'nough said.
ReplyDeleteSecond... NoOprah, I thought you couldn't get any lower than trying to imply that you forgot about 9/11...But calling someone a douchebag because they are an Ex-POW is so far below the bar that I don't think you'll be able to out-do yourself.
Third, I will be reading every day to be sure that you find a way to lower the bar again.
Fourth, I forgot that there are actually THREE episodes of Becker that involve actors from Cheers.
First, why are we surrendering to the French? You can take over the whole country with an angry letter. Just take France, and drink their wine...Wisconsin and Vermont have better cheeses anyway. French cheese smells like French people. 'nough said.
ReplyDeleteSecond... NoOprah, I thought you couldn't get any lower than trying to imply that you forgot about 9/11...But calling someone a douchebag because they are an Ex-POW is so far below the bar that I don't think you'll be able to out-do yourself.
Third, I will be reading every day to be sure that you find a way to lower the bar again.
Fourth, I forgot that there are actually THREE episodes of Becker that involve actors from Cheers.
"Suck it up Nancy!"
ReplyDeleteI thought you liked Ronnie...what's wrong with his wife?
I love Ronnie.
ReplyDeleteHe's the single greatest American.
"...what's wrong with his wife?"
ReplyDeleteShe kept hiding the cheese and crackers from poor Ronnie.
I love that NoOprah just treated my comment all seriously.
ReplyDeleteWhat a loser.
When someone mentions Ronald *some intial* Reagan I get all misty eyed.
ReplyDeleteHe ended the Cold War, ya know? And gave every American 40 acres and a mule.
Or something.
"...I get all misty eyed."
ReplyDeleteYou're out. Again. Please turn in your toolbelt and smoking jacket at the door on your way out.
And don't forget, he made catsup (katsup?) a vegetable!
ReplyDeleteI've lost all faith in NoOprah.
ReplyDeleteHe doesn't even know Reagan's middle initial.
HEY! I'm sitting right here!
ReplyDeleteDuring my almost three-months of duty in 'Nam, I got scratched so badly that I needed a bandage! So does that make me smarter than ol' POW McCain? The enemy didn't catch me!
ReplyDeleteA few things:
ReplyDelete1. Ketchup is a fine vegetable...in fact, it just might be our greatest vegetable.
2. Getting misty-eyed when speaking of Ronald *some intial* Reagan does not get one booted from man club. EVER!
3. Ronald *some intial* Reagan would just POW! punch you in the kisser...douchebag.
4. I don't believe John Kerry really got scratched while in Vietnam...I'm guessing it was from raising taxes and not really having any plan what-so-ever
Reagan accomplished more for this country in his sleep than most POW's did in their cells.
ReplyDelete(OMG, I can't believe I just said that...)
The first rule of man club (once you're out of man club) is to not talk about man club.
ReplyDeletePlease cease and desist.
SEE?!?!?!?!?!
ReplyDeleteThis is what I've been saying all along! Finally someone gets it.
BostonGraf...Manhug.
ReplyDeleteGet a room, you two.
ReplyDeleteOnly if you're bringing at least one skanky broad.
ReplyDeleteMan Club, you should know that there is no need to get a room. There is a legal ManHug.
ReplyDelete- Start with a chest level high five, but instead of a slap, the hands remain gripped.
- With the continuing high five still in between the two men, a shoulder pat completes the ManHug such that men's chests never touch each other.
This is the highest amount of physical contact allowed between two men in the ManClub (excluding any and all attempts to cause physical harm to another man).
Reagan didn't end the Cold War.
ReplyDeleteAND he's dead, which removes him from the Single Greatest American pool.
And I'm still waiting for my 40 acres...oh yeah, they're probably in the former Communist Soviet Union which RR DIDN'T break up.
ReplyDeleteI'll excuse him the mule, since he's dead and all.
Wasn't Ronnie a WWII POW?
ReplyDeleteOh, that's right -- he was too busy pursuing a Hollywood career to join the Army.
Thank gawd - otherwise he'd have risked being a douchebag.
Now . . . where'd I put my cheese and wine?
DAMN! Motheragawd beat me.
ReplyDeleteI need to learn to read more effectively.
::slinks off to sample more fine victuals::
And yes Virginia, Ronald Reagan DID end the Cold War.
ReplyDelete"Suck it up nancy"
ReplyDeleteLook, it's enought that you admire Reagan.
You don't have to quote him too.
Sorry, just checked Google quotes on that. Wasn't Ronnie to Nancy, it was Art Linkletter.
ReplyDelete