When you hang out with a guy named Hoagy

It's very bizarre.

You'll be having a deep discussion about Iraq or Bill Clinton or something and the Hoag will always somehow work in things like:

"Imagine if bears were in charge of the military?"

or

"Would it have been a scandal if Bill Clinton was not having sex with bears instead of Monica Lewinsky?"

Or sometimes I'll be mentioning maybe American Idol and Hoag will say "Imagine if they did Animal Idol and bears sang and stuff?"

Or if I'm in the market for a new car Hoag will say crap like 'Imagine if bears drove cars....I wonder what kind they would buy....would they get the extended warranties?"

Or at a funeral he'll say junk like "Imagine how big the casket would be if she was a Grizzly."

Why do I even hang with such an odd guy?

If he was a bear would I still hang out with him?