Friday, August 03, 2007

My new favorite news story

Especially the part where he kicks the cop (wouldn't he fall down?) :

NEW PORT RICHEY, Florida (Aug. 3) - A man with no arms and one leg who would not stop driving despite a long list of traffic violations was sentenced to five years in prison Friday on the latest charges.

Michael Francis Wiley, 40, also was sentenced to 15 years of drug offender probation. He pleaded no contest in June to a variety of felony driving and drug charges. "I'd just like to say I know what I did was wrong," Wiley said in court Friday. "I am truly sorry your honor. I am." Wiley taught himself to drive after losing both arms and a leg in an electrical accident when he was 13. He has already spent more than three years in prison for habitually driving without a license, kicking a state trooper and other charges. He once had a valid license, but it has now been suspended several times since 1985, according to his attorney. He starts the car with his toes, shifts with his knee and steers with the stump of his left arm. He turns on the lights with his teeth.
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8 comments:

  1. Cake11:19 PM EDT

    What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool?

    Bob!

    (Sorry, but it was that or Beatles songs. I Want to Hold your Stump, Hop and Shout, Polythene Prosthesis...)

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  2. Anonymous10:21 AM EDT

    You're ::gurgle:: a mean ::gurgle:: one ::gurgle:: Cake, ::gurgle:: very mean.

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  3. Anonymous11:53 AM EDT

    I'm just glad she didn't make the joke about what you call a man with no arms and no legs, hanging on the wall.

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  4. Anonymous12:01 PM EDT

    Or the one about the armless and legless man who went waterskiing. That's a pretty mean one too !

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  5. Sparkle Plenty12:23 PM EDT

    Ah, the kick. I bet: He hits the ground, feigns deep sorrow and regret, and when the cop bends down to help him up--GAZOOBIE!--Wiley kicks him in the "little cop-making infrastructure" and starts to laugh hysterically. Doing that might be one of his chief joys in life. I'm confused about how you lose limbs in an electrical accident, 'though.

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  6. I Ain't No Oprah1:03 PM EDT

    The electric machete

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  7. bacon ace5:31 PM EDT

    Uh hello, lightsabers anyone?

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  8. Anonymous11:49 PM EDT

    Soooooooooo disapointed today. Saw Mrs.IANO, but, would of loved to see you.

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