So the other day I pull up to the toll booth and I get one of the best looking of toll takers. Gorgeous cocoa colored skin, full collagen filled lips, cool looking hair, good figure, etc...
So she's making my change and exchanging small talk when I decide I need to tell her who she looks like.
(Why can't I just learn to keep my big mouth shut?)
She hands me my change and then I say:
ME: "Hey! You know who you look like?"
HER: ::smiles:: "No...who?"
ME: "You look like Tiger Woods!"
HER: ::smile leaves:: "Tiger is a man"
ME: "No...no...no...I didn't mean it that way....I meant you look like him if he was a girl."
CARS BEHIND ME: ::honkhonkhonk::
ME: "Have a great day." ::drives off::
Point of the story?
I don't think Tiger is all that attractive as a man....but he makes a hot chick.
Hmm. Are you sure it wasn't Tiger Woods? Whoever it was will be briefing the girls about this at coffee break. "Watch out for the guy with the license plate XXXXX!" "I know that guy! He spat on my Crocs last week!" "That's not bad. He asked when I was DUE!" Can you take an alternate route? They might let the gatey thingy slam your hood "by accident."
ReplyDeleteGatey thing?
ReplyDeleteYepper! Some of 'em still have gatey things, or the ability to keep the gatey things up all the time. Guess yours doesn't. I'd watch out for snipers, 'though.
ReplyDeleteAnd just when you thought they forgot about your "throwing everything in the car" episode.
ReplyDeleteWhat sort of gown will you rent from the florist when you go on your date with Tiger Woods?
ReplyDelete-- Lamont "Fore! play" Cranston
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ReplyDeleteSomeone here should get a temporary job at the Mass Turnpike toll booth, just for a couple of days. Think of the fun you could have with NoOprah!
ReplyDeleteI don't look like a girl !
ReplyDeleteNeither do I ....just for the record.
ReplyDelete"(Why can't I just learn to keep my big mouth shut?)"
ReplyDeleteWait, was this a rhetorical question or were you actually looking for an answer? Cuz I'm sure we can come up with some theories if you wanna hear 'em.