Thursday, September 20, 2007

I've let you down.

Today was going to be a wonderfully clever post incorporating:

1. The 'Don't Taze Me, Bro!' guy

2. The 'Leave Britney Alone!' Guy/and or Gal

3. O.J.

4. And the back on track Boston Red Sox.

But someone (some team) screwed it all up....didn't they? DIDN'T THEY!!!????

Bunch of skirt wearing ballerinas! You call yourself men?? MEN?? MEN don't smell like flowers and puppies. Men don't use words like twinkle and savory.

MEN don't get swept by a bunch of Canadians!

Don't make me taze you, you bunch of Britneys. Cuz I will and I'll never leave you alone. I'll taze you till the cows come home (no idea what that means)....All I want is MORE MORE MORE!! You're not human beings! You are gentle little men that have forgotten how to win baseball games!

Motherfucker! You think you can steal my motherfucking season!!??

PS

Dearest Tito,

Get Manny back in the line-up, huh?

Love,
Britney
at

15 comments:

  1. Cake11:13 AM EDT

    I'd offer to 'take care' of the Toronto Blue Jays for you but the knife shipment I'd ordered with that in mind ended up in Boston. Goddammit!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous11:15 AM EDT

    I knew I smelled funny...but I didn't realize that odor was SAVOURY.

    ReplyDelete
  3. bacon ace11:26 AM EDT

    Oh no cake! I accepted the shipment for you and it's combs. ALL COMBS!!!

    P.S. way to be a true Boston Fan there NoOprah :rolls eyes:

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous11:53 AM EDT

    1978?

    -- Lamont "1978" Cranston

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous12:00 PM EDT

    Hey, Lamont, want this ::slips some Ex-Lax into it:: spare hash brown?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Cake12:18 PM EDT

    Bacon Ace:

    CRAP! Hoagy tried to warn me but would I listen?? NO!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Sparkle Plenty12:52 PM EDT

    I'm pretty much in love with the line, "You are gentle little men that have forgotten how to win baseball games!" Yep. That's gold in my book.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I Ain't No Oprah1:03 PM EDT

    Dear Bacon Ace,

    What better way to be a TRUE Boston sports fan than by bitching about it when they choke a 14 game lead away?

    I was there in 1978 and I do not want to be there again. It was horrible. HORRIBLE.

    It created monsters like Lamont.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous2:12 PM EDT

    Dear NoOprah:

    You cry and you're OUT!

    Yours truly,

    Man Club Representative.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I Ain't No Oprah2:16 PM EDT

    Crying about baseball is acceptable behavior.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous2:30 PM EDT

    *checks rulebook*

    Ah, you're right. That was included in the 1978 amendment.

    Carry on.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Sparkle Plenty2:33 PM EDT

    But, what if you're a baseball player? Can you cry about baseball, or does it make you a "gentle little man that has forgotten how to win baseball games"?!

    And, if you root for the Jays, do you come up with the Beatles game song, "As My Blue Jay Gently Sweeps"? I'm sad about it, but I believe that's the logical song. MY SWEET LORD, in your grief you have killed the Beatles game blog. A nation mourns.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous2:45 PM EDT

    There's no crying in baseball!!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous3:03 PM EDT

    Naah, the obvious song is "Blue Jay (Fen)Way."

    Lamont "And THAT'S Why Killing The Beatles Game Blog Is the Best Superpower!" Cranston

    ReplyDelete
  15. Lois Lane5:02 PM EDT

    C'mom people! There's no crying in blogging!

    ReplyDelete