Wednesday, October 31, 2007

The baby Jesus and his first Halloween

From the story in the bible, Boris:3:14, it mentions the baby Jesus (they were still callin' him baby Jesus even though he was now 7 years old) went out for his first Halloween dressed as The Frankincense Monster and he sadly came home with a bag filled only with myrrh.

The next year he would dress up as Cowboy and get a bag of gold.

The point of the story?

Ya dress up like Frankincense, ya get myrrh. Dress up like a Cowboy, and ya get gold.

It's true. I read it in the bible. Elvira 36D:

19 comments:

  1. Yeah! I *knew* cowgirl was a better choice than Mary Magdalene for my costume this year.

    Thanks for the candy, Mister NoOprah!

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  2. Thank Cake...notice the candy is 'Canadian'?

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  3. And therefore superior, of course.

    Where's my damn candy?? I'm in costume!

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  4. Canadian, eh? I thought I noticed a subtle maple undertone, which was pleasant. The hint of bacon was a bit distubring, though.

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  5. Oh gawd, Lois...you said the "b" word. You'll send Bacon Ace stampeding to the shop to get some! I pity whoever gets in his way...

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  6. Reese Eggs and Bacon Cups might be better.

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  7. Anonymous12:48 PM EDT

    Hickory-smoke-cured Mallomars.

    At 33, Jesus went out trick or treating as Bob Vila. The results were... unfortunate.

    -- Lamont "I'm Already Going To Hell, What Do I Care?" Cranston

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  8. But, what of Cormanesians 3:1 that saith that Baby Jesus went out for his first Halloween dressed as a Crab Monster, spent the night dodging Philistines armed with melted butter, and got shot with a bb gun by mean ol' Mr. Herod who wanted the kids to stay the heck off his lawn*?

    *Revenge was sweet--verily, it took Mr. Herod years to get all of those loaves and fishes out of the maple tree in the front yard!

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  9. Anonymous4:07 PM EDT

    I better not get any peanuts or homemade treats or I'm telling my dad on you!

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  10. Anonymous4:07 PM EDT

    AND NO GODDAMN APPLES!

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  11. Anonymous4:16 PM EDT

    And you can shove those little cheap Halloween lollipops up [censored], too!

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  12. Anonymous4:16 PM EDT

    When baby Jesus says "goddamn," it carries some serious ecumenical weight.

    -- Lamont "Whatever Happened To Jesus's Foreskin?" Cranston

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  13. Anonymous4:17 PM EDT

    Goo-goo, ga-ga!

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  14. Anonymous4:17 PM EDT

    Goo-goo, ga-ga!

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  15. "Reese's Bacon Cups"

    ::passes out::

    ::wakes up hours later::

    Whoah, now those would go in the godly candy pile.

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  16. Anonymous8:48 PM EDT

    IANO called me stupid! IANO called me stupid! I'm telling Dad! I'm telling Dad!

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  17. Chocks away!!!!

    Oh hang on.. wrong post.

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  18. Just not the Dallas Cowboys. Blech.

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