Monday, February 11, 2008

Summing up is hard to do.

So I'm on (in) an airplane yesterday when all of a sudden the man stewardess came on the speaker to inform the passengers that the noise we just heard was a 'balloon popping on the aircraft'

So To Sum Up:
Al Qaeda is so weakened by our aggressive stance in Iraq that they've now resorting to just trying to startle us using balloons.

So To Double Sum Up:
We are no longer allowed to bring balloons on planes.

So To Triple Sum Up:
People that work at airports and the airlines always refer to the airplanes as 'aircraft'

Always. Like it's a rule. Or something. Aircraft.

So to Quadruple Sum Up:
If you want to impress chicks like Leo DiCaprio does in 'Catch Me If You Can' by pretending to be a pilot make sure you call the plane 'an aircraft'.

So To Sum Up To Whatever We Call the Number 5 Slot:
Airplane folk and people in the airplane business are kooky. And they have 'man stewardesses'. They call them SissyCraft.

13 comments:

  1. Anonymous12:59 PM EST

    Yah gots to ride on one of them there PASSENGER PLANES? Ahm all kindsa jealous now, there, mister.

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  2. Anonymous1:24 PM EST

    "It's de craft, it's de craft."

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  3. The last time I was on a plane, errr, aircraft, I managed to get the exact same cabin and flight crew going THERE as coming HOME. Apparently that's almost impossible and we were all pretty sure it meant we were headed for some strange little island to live with The Others or something...cue the LOST theme [here]. It was a GREAT trip.

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  4. Funny, ship captains don't call them watercraft. However, they fume when you call it a boat.

    Wait, Cake is one of the Oceanic 6?

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  5. Anonymous1:44 PM EST

    You were probably just on a plane of globophobics.

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  6. Anonymous1:45 PM EST

    Not anymore, she's not.

    *drags Cake away*

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  7. I don't like the term "aircraft." Sounds too much like something made of paper mache.

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  8. Anonymous2:33 PM EST

    "This is your Captain speaking. Our aircraft has run into some rain and is deteriorating rapidly. When the glue 'n macaroni oxygen masks descend, please put them on as quickly as possible.

    When the Play-doh slides have descend, please exit in an orderly fashion. Your crayons can be used as flotation devices in case of emergency. "

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  9. Anonymous3:36 PM EST

    Crap....now I want Kraft Macaroni and Glue

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  10. ::stuffs balloons down shirt to smuggle on plane::

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  11. To sum up: You were in a plane.

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  12. Anonymous6:10 PM EST

    An aircraft.

    Do you not read?

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  13. Hmm. Let me reread. Nope, nope, I'm on solid ground. I don't work at an airport or an airline. I ain't kooky*. I don't want to impress chicks like Leo DiCaprio does in 'Catch Me If You Can' by pretending to be a pilot. Thus, I don't need to call the plane 'an aircraft.'

    To sum up: He was in a plane.

    *I'm not kooky like airplane folk and people in the airplane business, anyway. Other kinds of kooky--guilty as charged.

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