Sunday, March 09, 2008

My views on abortion.

I don't care if you have one.

I don't care if you don't have one.

I don't care if they make them illegal.

I don't care if they're legal.

I don't care if you have one 8 months 29 days into pregnancy.

I don't care if you have one every year.

I don't care if you kill your three year old, your twelve year old, or your eighteen year old.

I don't care if you let them live either.

I don't care if you call it pro-choice, pro-life, or pro-death.

I'm never gonna have an abortion. Unless I get pregnant.

If they outlaw it and one of my daughters needs or wants one I'll pay for her to have one in another country.

Or maybe not. I don't care.

If they make it against the law and someone can't afford to have one...I don't care.

If you can't afford an abortion and have the baby and then put said baby in a dumpster I don't care.

Do whatever you want, but just shut up about it already.

I've got TV to watch.

51 comments:

  1. Anonymous1:11 PM EDT

    All You Need Is A Hanger.

    Octofetus's Garden

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous1:15 PM EDT

    When I'm RU486

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous1:22 PM EDT

    Eight Scrapes A Week

    (Would have been) Sexy Sadie

    Happiness Is A Child Free Home

    Got To Get You Out Of My Wife

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous1:25 PM EDT

    Nothing

    I Am The Unwanted Walrus

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous1:49 PM EDT

    Have the kid and give it to me, ja?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous1:50 PM EDT

    Eight Spays a Week

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous1:54 PM EDT

    A Hard Days Knife

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous2:35 PM EDT

    Quit asking me if I'm gonna have an abortion! I ain't pregnant!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I Want To Hold Your Little Underdeveloped Hand

    PS I Clearly Don't Really Love You.

    The Ballad of We Never Even Named Him and Yoko

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous3:37 PM EDT

    - Maxwell's Silver Scraper
    - Let it Bleed
    - Mean Mister Morgentaler
    - We All Don't Live in a Yellow Submarine or Anywhere Else Come to Think of it

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous3:39 PM EDT

    All Fetuses Must Pass

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous3:43 PM EDT

    Abort Me Do

    ReplyDelete
  13. All You Need Is A Few Hundred Dollars.

    Here Goes The Son

    ReplyDelete
  14. While My Guy Tard Gently Weeps

    You're Going To Lose That Girl(or boy or whatever it is...it's so tiny and barely formed we can't even tell)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous4:16 PM EDT

    Mommy (That's What I Want)

    "Doctor" Robert

    Everybody Is Trying To Abort My Baby

    She Hates You

    ReplyDelete
  16. Anonymous4:17 PM EDT

    - Abort That Weight

    ReplyDelete
  17. Anonymous4:18 PM EDT

    Don't Pass Me

    ReplyDelete
  18. Anonymous4:19 PM EDT

    I Saw Her Gestating There (Briefly)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Anonymous4:20 PM EDT

    I've Got a Fetus...Oh Now I Don't

    ReplyDelete
  20. Anonymous4:21 PM EDT

    Fixing a Ho

    A Day In The Death

    Deathday

    Can't Buy Me Life

    Let It Die

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anonymous4:24 PM EDT

    Maxwell's Silver Forceps

    ReplyDelete
  22. What if the Beatles wrote about NoOprah's stance on abortion? (To sum up):

    Ob-la-do, ob-la-don't

    ReplyDelete
  23. Anonymous4:26 PM EDT

    Fixing a Mistake Left by a Hole in the Condom

    ReplyDelete
  24. Anonymous4:27 PM EDT

    My Body

    Lend Me Your Womb

    ReplyDelete
  25. Anonymous4:30 PM EDT

    Hello Goodbye (no edit required)

    ReplyDelete
  26. Anonymous4:30 PM EDT

    Happiness is a Cold Womb

    ReplyDelete
  27. Anonymous4:34 PM EDT

    I Don't Want You (It's So Heavy)

    ReplyDelete
  28. Anonymous4:35 PM EDT

    Let it Breed

    ReplyDelete
  29. Anonymous4:37 PM EDT

    Lucy in the Stirrups with Dilation

    ReplyDelete
  30. Anonymous4:40 PM EDT

    Strawberry Killing Fields Forever

    When I'm Sixty Four (I'll probably regret this)

    ReplyDelete
  31. Anonymous4:43 PM EDT

    Dear Imprudence

    ReplyDelete
  32. Anonymous4:45 PM EDT

    Norwegian flesh and bones

    ReplyDelete
  33. So Barren Uteruses Forever?

    Maybe not quite...but so close...

    ReplyDelete
  34. Anonymous4:47 PM EDT

    Twist and Shove

    ReplyDelete
  35. Anonymous4:48 PM EDT

    Three of Us...No, Wait...Two of Us!

    ReplyDelete
  36. Anonymous4:51 PM EDT

    Your Wild Honey Pie Got Us Into This Mess

    ReplyDelete
  37. Anonymous4:52 PM EDT

    You Won't See My Baby

    ReplyDelete
  38. Anonymous4:53 PM EDT

    Ain't Nothing Gestating

    ReplyDelete
  39. Ohhh, John and George are no doubt rolling over in their graves right now. So's Paul, and he isn't even dead yet. And I hear Ringo would roll over in his grave... for twenty dollars.

    I just wish they could extend the allowable time for legal abortions to about 50 years after birth. There are so many people that the passage of time can prove should have been aborted.

    ReplyDelete
  40. IANO: This has nothing to do with abortion, but you might enjoy this link, seeing as how you're such a big Hillary fan: http://www.teptronics.com/83304.html

    ReplyDelete
  41. Dear David Rantz,

    Just for the record...I do enjoy things other than abortion.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Anonymous11:28 AM EDT

    Yeah, David...he enjoys Hitler, too.

    Get with the program, wouldja?

    ReplyDelete
  43. IANO: You might just be the only person I know of to use the words "enjoy" and "abortion" in the same sentence. But at least you didn't use "Hillary" and "beautiful" together. That'd be breaking your own rule. Now "Hillary" and "abortion" would lend themselves to all sorts of fun combinations, I expect... Which reminds me, how many toilet brushes did you order?

    Smartmouth: "Hitler" and "abortion" would lend themselves to several combinations as well.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Holy guacamole. Rarely have I seen such a vast preponderance* of anonymous contributions.

    *See what happens when I spend three days reading? I miss a lot of warped Beatles songs AND start using words like this.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Anonymous12:49 PM EDT

    There are no anonymous comments.

    ReplyDelete
  46. I thought I had another good comment here but, on second thought, it's not so good...so I'm aborting it.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Anonymous1:12 PM EDT

    This comment was accidental but it's too far along now to abort it...bugger.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Anonymous1:14 PM EDT

    I was trying to scrape up some good abortion jokes but I just can't think of any worth carrying out.

    ReplyDelete
  49. When I'm 64 (days, and that's as old as I'm going to get)

    ReplyDelete