Tuesday, August 19, 2008

The Out Of State Carnival Worker

I was listening to the news this morning and they mentioned this out of state carnival worker who was arrested and charged with raping two girls.

Out of state carnival worker.

Accused of rape.

*gasp*

The owner of The Carnival (I'm not making this up) was quoted as saying that his references and background checks all came out good.

So let me get this straight....I want to join The Carnival and they check my references? They do a background check on me?

And where do they do this? How do they do this?

Does a desire for rape show up in a background check?

"Oh yeah, Charlie liked to rape broads in between his stints on the Tilt-O-Whirl so we had to let him go..."

"Let's see...Charlie. Oh yeah...Charlie. Hard worker. Never late. Rapes broads. Can guess weights like nobodies business. Ring tosser supreme. Whatever happened to him?"


SO TO SUM UP:

I want some fried dough. With powdered sugar and cinnamon on it.

And melted butter.

9 comments:

  1. I'm going to a non-raping carnival tomorrow or Thursday and you're not.

    Neeeeener!

    (At least I hope it's non-raping...it'd really suck to pay to get in, pay for some rides, pay for some fried dough...and then get raped. Crap.)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous5:23 PM EDT

    See ya there, Cake!

    ReplyDelete
  3. When I was a young teen I just thought I was on some kinda new ride.

    ReplyDelete
  4. - Pedo Express
    - Tilt-a-Rape
    - Bumper Boys
    - Rape Cups
    - Haunted House Just For Little Girls

    Okay, that should seal my ticket to hell right there...

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  5. House of Minors

    Humper Cars

    The 'Fun' House

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  6. I bet the carnival would rape in...I mean, rake in a lot of (fried) dough if they had two different admissions fees:

    - $10
    - $100 (no-rape, guaranteed)

    I should run it past them tonight...

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  7. In Vermont we put Maple Syrup on our fried dough.

    The real stuff.

    No fake-ass Aunt Jemima shit.

    Real.

    Possibly made by rapists.

    ReplyDelete