FIRST TEXT MESSAGE WITH YOUNGEST DAUGHTER ON DAY BEFORE FIRST DAY OF COLLEGE:
ME: "I miss you already."
YOUNGEST: "Same here :)"
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SECOND TEXT MESSAGE WITH YOUNGEST ON FIRST DAY OF COLLEGE:
ME: "So how is the weed and booze?"
YOUNGEST: "Good."
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CONVERSATION WITH ME, WIFEY, AND OLDEST...THIS MORNING:
WIFEY: "There is a stupid fly in here and IF you people would put the sugar spoon away it would go away."
ME: "Oh...that's just Tony. He was here yesterday also."
OLDEST DAUGHTER: ::laughter:: "You had a different name for him yesterday."
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JOHN McCAIN: War Hero?
I think not.
Five years of getting tortured by Charlie doesn't make one a hero. It makes one a bad soldier for getting caught in the first place.
You don't get caught, you don't get tortured, you kill Charlie, you are a hero.
Or something.
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"There is a stupid fly in here and IF you people would put the sugar spoon away it would go away."
ReplyDeleteSo to sum up:
If it was a smaht fly, putting the sugar spoon away wouldn't make a difference.
You rogic makes to sense.
ReplyDeleteThere was a fly in my POW camp...it was horrible!!!
ReplyDeleteHey Noprah,
ReplyDeleteHigh Five! Ow Ow Ow Ow...rats...I can't lift my tortured arms that high.
Rats are responsible for my neck, stop bringing back painful memories!
ReplyDeleteI didn't get caught. I didn't get tortured. I killed Charlie.
ReplyDeleteDoes that mean you think I'm a hero?
No. You think I'm "something," right?
John Kerry,
ReplyDeleteYeah...you're something...a pile of something!
Yeah, Cousin Saul, I figured that was exactly what "something" meant.
ReplyDeleteKerry didn't get tortured??
ReplyDeleteSo then what happened to his face?
I wasn't tortured in 'nam...the torture began after I married Teresa.
ReplyDeleteAnd, of course this blog.
"the torture began after I married Teresa.
ReplyDeleteAnd, of course this blog."
John Kerry married this blog!?
I was for this blog, before I was against it....
ReplyDeleteIt was dark. I was drunk. The blog was witty. What can I say?
ReplyDelete(Don't tell Teresa.)
Yeah, I dig the flip-floppin'.
ReplyDeleteWhat politician doesn't dig the flip-floppin'?
(I have switch-flops now, also. Coolness.)
I wish you didn't snore.
ReplyDeleteI have, however, received congressional medals of honors for my spooning. Nevermind which congressman gave me the medal.
ReplyDelete(You drool and steal the sheets. But, I don't mind. It's better than when you keep asking me, "Why the long face?")
Okayfine, you're right...the spooning is excellent.
ReplyDeleteHowever, if you're going to whisper in my ear, could you think of something sexier to say than, "Hey baby, wanna meet my little 'senator'?"
I thought that was a killer line.
ReplyDeleteBut, you love it when I say, "Hey, baby, let's filibuster under my Beltway." Right?
Right?
*swoons*
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, when you say that, you just know I'm a few seconds from conceding to your-- whoops, sorry, I forgot you don't like me to put it like that.
I mean, giving in to you.
Conceding? Conceding?
ReplyDeleteUh-oh.
The little 'senator' just dropped out of the race and no amount of flip-flopping can bring him back.
Cake: "John Kerry married this blog!?"
ReplyDeleteJust pretended married.
IANO: Your point about McCain reminds me of the line in The Magnificent Seven: "The man for us is the man who gave him those scars."
You asked your daughter about the weed and booze but forgot to ask her if the sex was any good. What kind of a parent are you?
ReplyDelete