Saturday, November 29, 2008

Who doesn't love a good old fashioned human stampede?



So yesterday, on Black Friday, tons of rampaging stampeding yahoos stormed through a Wal-Mart (Hell-Mart) and proceeded to kill a guy.

Sounds bad, correct?

But wouldn't you say the following bargains were worth the death of one temporary Wal-Mart clerk?

//////Items on sale at the Valley Stream Wal-Mart included a Samsung 50-inch Plasma HDTV for $798, a Bissel Compact Upright Vacuum for $28, a Samsung 10.2 megapixel digital camera for $69 and DVDs such as "The Incredible Hulk" for $9.//////

I mean let's get real for a second....The Incredible Hulk DVD for only nine dollars??

SO TO SUM UP:
$9.00 Hulk DVD=Death.

17 comments:

  1. Anonymous10:49 AM EST

    Was it the Ang Lee Hulk dvd?

    Because that would make the story truly tragic.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous11:53 AM EST

    You can't say "Black Friday" anymore. It's now a hate-crime."

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous12:43 PM EST

    Sy-Phillis:

    Someone beat you to that joke yesterday. We buried them.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I wish it'd been shoppers that were trampled...hello, Darwin Award winners!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous1:24 PM EST

    What is a Darwin award?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous1:58 PM EST

    Dear God:

    Quit monkeying around!

    Love,
    D.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous2:03 PM EST

    I know who Darwin IS, but I just don't know what they award is.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous2:07 PM EST

    Prolly some sci-fi freak award.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous2:08 PM EST

    Dear God:

    It's an award given out every year to folks who do the world a favour by removing themselves from the gene pool.

    For Your Honour's illumination:

    http://www.darwinawards.com/

    Love,
    D.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous2:10 PM EST

    Dear Anonymous:

    Here, just have a look at this gun for me? It doesn't seem to want to fire...no, have a look down the barrel...I think it's just jammed or something.

    ::plugs ears::

    ReplyDelete
  11. Jesus loves you. He doesn't love Darwin or Wal-mart employees, though.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous4:49 PM EST

    - All You Need Is Boots
    - Stomp Stomp Me Do
    - Stampede and Shout
    - Happiness is a Cheap TV
    - Bargains in the Aisle with Bodies

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous6:19 PM EST

    I don't believe in Darwin.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous1:48 PM EST

    Dear God:

    I guess turnaround is fair play.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous4:43 PM EST

    Yep. Wanna go get a beer? I'm buying.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Anonymous8:07 PM EST

    Sure. Meet ya at the place around the corner in 10 minutes.

    And can we agree on no angels and no monkeys?

    ReplyDelete