Dearest Barack,

Seeing how you've recently taken over The Banks, Wall Street, Insurance Companies, and now the Auto Industry I'm guessing the Comic Book Industry is next.

Now it's clear to me that you're a Financial Wizard being able to juggle all of that (and your Man-Woman Michelle) but I'm guessing you might need some tips on the day to day operations of running The Comic Shop.

In no particular order:

1. Wednesday is new comic book day. Don't screw it up. People don't want their comics on Friday or Monday. They want them on Wednesday...you got that, Cochise?

2. Buy low, sell high. Do not screw with this.

3. Always add $1.00 to every purchase. Most customers don't even notice and your pockets get lined in green.

4. Short change folks. They never notice and your pockets get lined in green.

5. When ringing up purchases always use the Canadian price.

6. Goof around on the internet most of the day: blogger, YouTube, ebay, facebook, myspace, Cousin Saul, and Hoag.

7. Always stay open during the customer friendly hours of 11:30-6:30 (weekends until 5:00) (a tad longer on New Comics Day)

8. Shut the door after The Indians leave it open.

9. Nothing for #9

10. And stop being a douchebag you socialist prick!

And that's about it.