WIFEY: "What IS radiation?"
ME: "I don't know."
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ME: "Are you a good girl? Are you a good girl? Are you a good girl?"
MY DOG: :::blank stare:::
----
ME: "We cracked her windshield with those snowballs."
HOAG: "Liar."
-------
WIFEY: "You have garlic all over your hands! Get away!"
ME: "I just washed my hands."
WIFEY: "It must be from the oven. It stinks"
ME: "It makes me sleep well."
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GUY IN FRONT OF POST OFFICE: "The post office is closed! Something must be going on."
ME: "I think Pam is just using the bathroom. I'm gonna wait in my car."
GUY IN FRONT OF POST OFFICE: "Good idea."
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GAL: "I think I will get Jared that Grendel lighter."
ME: "Why? Is it his birthday?"
GAL: "Nope...I just love him."
-------
ME: "You loved Titanic!"
JOE: "I didn't love Titanic."
ME: "You did!"
JOE: "Didn't."
ME: "Did."
JOE: "Didn't."
ME: "Did."
JOE: "Didn't."
ME: "Did."
JOE: "Didn't."
(He did)
--------
HOSTESS TO HOAGY: "I LOVE your shirt!!!"
ME: "What about mine?"
LYING HOSTESS: "Ummmm...yours is nice."
----
You have garlic smeared all over your oven? Real vampire problem in your kitchen?
ReplyDeleteAt least they aren't mysterious and difficult to understand radioactive vampires, I guess.
ReplyDeleteUnless they are.
All You Need is Bulbs
ReplyDeleteClove Me Do
Happiness is Some Warm Garlic?
I bite you and you die of reukemia!
ReplyDeleteOh I can vouch that he is definitely not gay, but he does play a gay guy on T.V....
ReplyDelete