So I bought a new computer last night.
As I was setting it up it asked if I wanted to set BING as my default search engine.
So I googled BING.
I decided not to make BING my default search engine.
As the rest of Planet Earth has also done.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
I'm not making this up about the Spanish accent lady.
SPANISH ACCENT LADY: "Do you know where there is a Chinese store around here?"
ME: "Nope."
SPANISH ACCENT LADY: "The store that sells the Chinese hair?"
ME: "Nope."
SPANISH TALKING LADY: "Are you new on the street?"
ME: "Yes."
ME: "Nope."
SPANISH ACCENT LADY: "The store that sells the Chinese hair?"
ME: "Nope."
SPANISH TALKING LADY: "Are you new on the street?"
ME: "Yes."
Rubber rats (and liquor)
So a Chinese guy just came in the shop.
It's not important to the story that he was Chinese.
Here is the conversation:
CHINESE GUY: "Do you have any plastic snakes or rubber rats?"
ME: "I don't have any plastic snakes but I do have this one rubber rat."
:::shows him rubber rat:::
CHINESE GUY: "No, that won't do. It's too big."
----
The rubber rat was the size of a real rat.
It's not important to the story that he was Chinese.
Here is the conversation:
CHINESE GUY: "Do you have any plastic snakes or rubber rats?"
ME: "I don't have any plastic snakes but I do have this one rubber rat."
:::shows him rubber rat:::
CHINESE GUY: "No, that won't do. It's too big."
----
The rubber rat was the size of a real rat.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Observation (lie) from the 84 year old women.
This old lady comes in my shop.
Here is the conversation.
LADY: "I've never seen so much stuff in my entire life!"
---
Here is the conversation.
LADY: "I've never seen so much stuff in my entire life!"
---
Thursday, January 26, 2012
The Small Piano (or should I call this: The guy that talked like Latka)
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
The Letter G
Today I was determined to write the whole blog with nothing but words that begin with the letter G.
Then I decided it would be funnier not to use any words that begin with the letter G.
Thank you.
Then I decided it would be funnier not to use any words that begin with the letter G.
Thank you.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Sunday, January 08, 2012
Especially cute.
So I was reading this article about some super cute polar bear cub.
In the article it tried to explain what makes something especially cute.
Here is part of the article:
////Interestingly, research has uncovered the facial features that make something especially cute: big eyes. Big cheeks. Big forehead.////
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-------
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Here is Clint Howard.
Especially cute.
In the article it tried to explain what makes something especially cute.
Here is part of the article:
////Interestingly, research has uncovered the facial features that make something especially cute: big eyes. Big cheeks. Big forehead.////
------
-------
-------
-------
Here is Clint Howard.
Especially cute.
Saturday, January 07, 2012
Lions in the fire
So a customer calls the other day and asks if I have something.
Here is the conversation:
ME: "You should stop down and look thru my inventory. I have a bunch of what you're looking for."
CUSTOMER: "I can't this week, I have way too many lions in the fire right now."
ME: "You mean irons in the fire?"
CUSTOMER: "Nope, too many lions in the fire."
ME: "Okay. Thank you."
Friday, January 06, 2012
Wednesday, January 04, 2012
Cookies
So a guy was just in here and he saw me eating a cookie.
Here is the conversation that followed:
ME: "Would you like a cookie?"
HIM: "What kind of cookie?"
ME: "Sugar cookie."
HIM: "I don't like sugar cookies."
ME: "Then Buddy, you don't like cookies."
---
So to sum up:
I should have called him Chief.
Here is the conversation that followed:
ME: "Would you like a cookie?"
HIM: "What kind of cookie?"
ME: "Sugar cookie."
HIM: "I don't like sugar cookies."
ME: "Then Buddy, you don't like cookies."
---
So to sum up:
I should have called him Chief.
Monday, January 02, 2012
Steve Jobs
Sunday, January 01, 2012
Getting ready for New Years Eve
Happy New Year.
So I get to work a few minutes ago (I work New Years day)
I pull into my parking space out back.
"Out Back" is a small parking lot and my dumpster.
Next to my dumpster was a pile of peanut shells on the ground.
It hit me that there was some guy out there at midnight last night eating peanuts next to my dumpster and ringing in the New Year.
Happy New Year, Peanut Lovin' Hobo!
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