I Ain't No Oprah

So last night I went out for something to eat. I didn't want to stay out late.  I wanted to eat. And get home early. Eat. Home...

I bought a Christmas present at Sears last night.

ME: "What was the funniest thing about Thanksgiving? DAUGHTER: "When Grandpa starting telling his Jager stories." ME: ...

ME:  "Hi...first time in?" STRANGE: "I'm all about the jokes." ME: "Excellent." ------ ------ ...

So President Obama was just re-elected. In the coming four years you might not get everything that he promised. Unemployment might go...

People still don't have power. Homes destroyed. Streets flooded. A storm that actually lived up to expectations. It might tak...

So Hurricane Sandy hit yesterday. You probably read about it. Massive power outages, death and destruction. Floods. It lived up to e...

So Wifey and I were discussing the BIG STORM that's coming. I suggested a few things in case we lose power. Here is part of the conv...

So a couple of minutes ago I was reading the news online. The headline on an article proclaimed: VICE PRESIDENT BIDEN SPEAKS AT A CAMPAI...

So I'm in the Bank of America today and the teller suggests that I get the new Bank of America credit card. He gestures to the sign...

Doesn't she know that we don't use that word anymore? She should have used the more politically correct 'mentally challenged...

Two gals came in the shop together. (One of them had short hair) I spoke with one of them. Here is the conversation. GAL: "Do you...

So last night the Detroit Tigers beat the New York Yankees and won the America League pennant! This morning I was reading about the game...

Purple Paint Guy: "Do you have any purple paint?" Me: "Yup, it's right over here." Purple Paint Guy: "I nee...

So last night I started spraying silly string at my wife and kids. Oldest daughter laughed. Youngest daughter looked serious and t...