Saturday, April 03, 2010

Racist Blog Post #483: HONKERS!


Dear People from a country I won't mention by name (we'll call it Honksylvania),

You love honking your horns, dontcha?

Is it a learned behavior for you?

Or were you just born douchebags?

It's a gorgeous day out...my door is wide open (not because you didn't close it this time) and the sound of you jerks honking your horns is driving me insane.

How do I know it's you? BECAUSE I CAN SEE YOU!!!

People that are born in America rarely use their horns.

We might even be polite. Certainly compared to YOU we are.

People from backass countries like Honkslyvania LOVE to honk their horns.

Why?

Are horns a sign of prestige in your filth encrusted country?

I see footage on the news from your country and your crappy roads are always filled with WAY too many of your shitsuckin' cars and you all leaning out the windows, waving a fist, honking, screaming!!

YOU ARE ANNOYING!

SHUT UP!

I DON'T LIKE YOU!

America doesn't like you.

(Individually one or two of you might be fine)

As a culture?

Not so much.

Someone is stopped in front of a store...maybe loading a few things in car and you decide you have to honk?? Honkin' on Bobo!

The guy was gonna move anyhow. No need to honk. He doesn't want to keep his car double parked. He just wants to put two bags of groceries in it.

Or maybe he's just waiting to pick up his kids.

Don't honk at him.

When the kid gets in the car he'll leave and you can be on your merry annoying way.

"But, but, but I'm an American citizen now!"

So act like one, Honker!

And stop honking!

4 comments:

Beatles said...

While My Sitar Gently Honks.

Cake said...

Oh great, now I want honkin' curry for lunch.

(I don't really...I want a toasted swiss cheese sandwich. But it's more fun to claim I'm gonna have biryani.)

Apu said...

Do you sell cumin in your shop?

Sparkle Plenty said...

I like honky-tonks!