I will try to make some sense out of the Opening Ceremony at the Olympics.

Smokestacks come out of the ground while a bunch of Abe Lincolns smoke cigars and then they wheel in some kids on beds and the nurses tell them to be quiet (probably because the theme from the Exorcist is playing) then a gaggle of Mary Poppins-iz fly down and beat up monsters.

Bad actors roll up sod and then an inflatable house appears in the middle where 1960s pop is played while bad go-go dancing goes on.

The camera pans to a bored Queen (who earlier flew in with James Bond)

Then a chick loses her phone while bad pop music is played and then a guy finds her phone. This ushers in the digital age.

Something about health care, something about women's rights. Something about Mr. Bean and Chariots of Fire.

Then a bunch of athletes walk in (though very few swimmers).

The people from Bermuda wore Bermuda Shorts.

A Beatle sang a song at the end that had nothing to do with anything.

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SO TO SUM UP:

I didn't make any of this up.