Smokin' Joe i-Pad

(And people think comic book fans are weird)

Two Gals, One Bench (no cup)

So yesterday was a great day. Sunny...maybe around 75 degrees or so.

I'm driving home and I cruise by this little park that has a bench facing the street (and real close to said street)

On this particular bench are two beautiful girls (women)...dressed normal (jeans and t-shirts) and they're just smiling and waving to everybody as they buzz by.

We make eye contact.

They wave.

I wave.

All of us are smiling.

And then it hit me!!

Two gorgeous gals should always be on a bench waving to me as I drive home!

Or something.

Racist Blog Post #483: HONKERS!

Dear People from a country I won't mention by name (we'll call it Honksylvania),

You love honking your horns, dontcha?

Is it a learned behavior for you?

Or were you just born douchebags?

It's a gorgeous day out...my door is wide open (not because you didn't close it this time) and the sound of you jerks honking your horns is driving me insane.

How do I know it's you? BECAUSE I CAN SEE YOU!!!

People that are born in America rarely use their horns.

We might even be polite. Certainly compared to YOU we are.

People from backass countries like Honkslyvania LOVE to honk their horns.

Why?

Are horns a sign of prestige in your filth encrusted country?

I see footage on the news from your country and your crappy roads are always filled with WAY too many of your shitsuckin' cars and you all leaning out the windows, waving a fist, honking, screaming!!

YOU ARE ANNOYING!

SHUT UP!

I DON'T LIKE YOU!

America doesn't like you.

(Individually one or two of you might be fine)

As a culture?

Not so much.

Someone is stopped in front of a store...maybe loading a few things in car and you decide you have to honk?? Honkin' on Bobo!

The guy was gonna move anyhow. No need to honk. He doesn't want to keep his car double parked. He just wants to put two bags of groceries in it.

Or maybe he's just waiting to pick up his kids.

Don't honk at him.

When the kid gets in the car he'll leave and you can be on your merry annoying way.

"But, but, but I'm an American citizen now!"

So act like one, Honker!

And stop honking!

Crazy Jason and Luke Cage

CRAZY JASON: "Would you hire Luke Cage?"

ME: "No."

It's just no longer available on Facebook.

Rainy day...just cleaning out the closet

Sandra Bullock, America's Sweetheart.

With all of the hoopla (yes, hoopla) of the Health Care Reform. Earthquakes in Haiti and some other brown skinned country.

Buzz Aldrin dancing. Joe Biden dropping F-bombs.

Tiger Woods.

Leno back on The The Tonight Show.

News news news.

Endless wars. Celebrity deaths.

Unemployment. Jobs.

The Apple i-Pad.

So much going on and sometimes things slip through the cracks.

As I was doing my research I stumbled across this gem...

It turns out that late late at night on February 14 2010 it was passed into law that when refering to Sandra Bullock you must now add 'America's Sweetheart' after her name.

This became even more important once the Jesse James sex scandal broke.

Sandra Bullock, America's Sweetheart....we love you!

The Horror Is Coming!

It's spring.

Buds on the trees.

Birds. Bugs.

It's spring.

The horror coming.

Soon.

The temps have to get a bit warmer.

The horror is coming but we don't yet know in what guise.

It's coming soon.

I'm afraid. I have the Scaredy Cat Blues.

You know you've been planning and saving all winter.

What horrible trendy fashion statement are you bitches gonna bring this year?

We've been thru a decade of crocs and capris. Pajama jeans and skinny jeans.

Juicy sweats.

What'll be this year, Girly-girls?

What terrible thigh thickening fashion faux pas do you have up your sleeve or leg or stocking?

"VIBRANT COLORS ARE IN!!"

"AS SEEN ON OPRAH!"

"BAGGY IN THE BUTT, TIGHT ON THE CALVES! THEY WAY YOU LIKE THEM!"

It's coming.

We all know it's coming.

You'll flip through the racks. Look at the window displays.

You'll actually believe THAT YOU CAN PULL THIS LOOK OFF!!!

But you can't.

You won't.

You will look thick.

I will hate it.

You will buy and wear it anyhow.

I will long for the days of old, the days of capris and crocs and Juicy sweats.


SO TO SUM UP:
I will be wearing Levis and faded shirts. And my lucky fishing shirt.

Tintin

GUY: "Do you have any Tintin?"

ME: "Yup...right over here."

GUY: "Did you hear they're making three Tintin movies?"

ME: "Yup...they should be good. Spielberg is doing them."

GUY: "Spielberg hasn't done anything."

I wish Barack Obama rhymed with Gutless Douchebag

So they finally get the needed votes for the historic(!) HEALTH CARE REFORM thingy.

You can applaud or boo. I don't much care.

But this weasel actually put in an exclusion on abortion.

You can be for abortion or against abortion. I don't much care.

The problem is that ABORTION IS LEGAL!!! And it's being excluded from the health care package. (unless it's rape or incest or if the Mom could die or something)

I'm not writing to discuss abortion. I don't care if you have one. I don't care if you don't. I don't care if you support it. I don't care if you bomb abortion clinics. I just don't care either way.

If it's legal and you want to do it....do it. But it should be covered by your health care (PRE-EXISTING CONDITIONS WILL BE COVERED!!!!!)


What if they excluded cancer treatment because I don't think cancer should be treated?

What if the health care didn't cover broken legs?

The point is Barack Obama sold his soul to get this thing passed because he knew certain Democrats wouldn't vote for it unless abortion was excluded.

Abortion is legal. It should be covered.

Now let's take this a step further.

Certain women will now NOT have abortions because they don't have the money. They will give birth.

One of those babies (that would have been aborted) will now grow up to be Hitler and kill your children and grandchildren. And a lot more folks will die than will have been aborted.

So screw off Barack Obama!! Gutless Douchebag.

SO TO SUM UP:

Peaches

So I'm watching a show the other night called The Pacific.

In one scene they show a Marine chugging down a can of peaches.

Shortly afterwards he vomits up said peaches.

And of course his fellow Marines dub him 'Peaches'

-----------

ME: "I want you to start calling me Peaches."

WIFEY: "I'm not calling you Peaches."

ME: "Why not?"

WIFEY: "Because you can't pick your own nickname."

ME: "Why not?"

WIFEY: "Because."

ME: "What was your nickname growing up?"

WIFEY: "I don't remember."

ME: "You remember. What was the first concert you ever went to?"

WIFEY: "I don't remember."

The Old Guy and his comic books

THE OLD GUY: "Other than having no covers, these babies are in mint condition."

ME: "Why did you take the covers off?"

THE OLD GUY: "We liked the covers the best."

ME: "Were you in Vietnam?"

The Old Guy

THE OLD GUY: "You sure know more than me."

ME: "Yes I do."

The Three Stooges discuss Health Care Reform with Barack Obama

OBAMA: "Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard!"

CURLY: "Hi'ya toots."

OBAMA: "This is for the good of the country!"

CURLY: "Every time I hear that Weasel tune, something POPS inside of me!"

MOE: "Quiet!"

OBAMA: "Not a village should be left behind!"

CURLY: "This is gettin' on my noives!"

OBAMA: "But it won't cost you more than a cup a coffee."

MOE: "Remind me to kill you later."

OBAMA: "Now gentlemen please...you know I'm temperamental."

LARRY: "Yeah, 95% temper, 5% mental."

I AINT NO OPRAH: "This bit ain't working."

MOE: "It's tremendous!"

LARRY: "It's colossal!"

SHEMP: "It's putrid!"

SO TO SUM UP:

Niagra Falls....

RIP Fess Parker (You son of a bitch!)

And you look cool.

So this was in the news today:

March 11) -- In the heyday of cigarette smoking, a pack a day was "just what the doctor ordered." Of course, the purported health benefits of smoking have been largely debunked, and cigarettes today are associated with serious health hazards.

But smoking may still have at least one advantage: protection against the development of Parkinson's disease.

------------------------

This might explain why Joe Frazier did so well against Muhammad Ali.




I'm guessing Smokin' Joe could also kick the ass of Michael J. Fox.

Einstein was right!

So there was this article in the 'paper' online today about Einstein and General Relativity.

According to the article, written by a 'reporter'....Einstein was right.

Of course he was right, Einstein!! He's Einstein.

http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2010/03/10/einstein-was-right-relativity-confirmed/?test=latestnews

Funny rape

>>>, N.C. — A North Carolina man has been arrested and charged with raping a woman and carving the word "Mine" on her stomach.<<<<<<<<<<<<

Stupid rape.

If this was just a robbery I'd be all over this story.

Maybe a road rage incident.

A kidnapping.

Identity theft.

But rape?

Can I really goof on rape?

I just can't bring myself to do it.

>>>>>HICKORY, N.C. — A North Carolina man has been arrested and charged with raping a woman and carving the word "Mine" on her stomach.<<<<<<


Stupid rape.

Gets in the way of my fun.

It's sitting there taunting me.

Rape.

>>>>HICKORY, N.C. — A North Carolina man has been arrested and charged with raping a woman and carving the word "Mine" on her stomach.<<<<


Check forgery? I'm on that like spackle on a blog.

But rape?

No can do.

My rep (I have a rep) is on the line.

A line I just cannot cross.

The rape line.

>>>>HICKORY, N.C. — A North Carolina man has been arrested and charged with raping a woman and carving the word "Mine" on her stomach.<<<<<

Oh crap....the urge is just too strong....

>>>>>HICKORY, N.C. — A North Carolina man has been arrested and charged with raping a woman and carving the word "Mine" on her stomach.<<<<

It's pulling me in...


>>>>HICKORY, N.C. — A North Carolina man has been arrested and charged with raping a woman and carving the word "Mine" on her stomach.<<<<

An electro magnet pulling me further (or is it farther?) in...

>>>>HICKORY, N.C. — A North Carolina man has been arrested and charged with raping a woman and carving the word "Mine" on her stomach.<<<<

Must *cough* make *coughcough* joke....

>>>>>HICKORY, N.C. — A North Carolina man has been arrested and charged with raping a woman and carving the word "Mine" on her stomach.<<<<<

Turns out the dude hated Shields and Yarnell and meant to carve MIME on her stomach!

Wait a second????

Did I just make fun of rape???

Of course not.




I made fun of mimes.

And the Oscar goes to....JEFF BRIDGES!

For some movie called Crazy Horse or Crazy Heart or Crazy Jason.

Or something.

But nobody has seen it.

Have you?

Or you?

Hey Fatty....how about YOU?

Nobody in the "Academy" saw it.

The man on the street never saw it.

Siskel or Ebert never saw it.

Dave, Jay, and Conan never saw it.

It never played in any theatres.

Or cinemas.

Or moviehouses.

Rumor has it that it played down the Nickolodeon in Spokane (Spokane is a funny name for a city)

Never played the Drive-In.

Folks say it's like the Wrestler but with a country western theme.

Or so they've heard.

They think a friend of their cousin saw it.

Possibly on a AERO-Plane to Spokane.

They also heard that Jeff was wonderful in it even though the movie itself is just so-so.

And that's why The Dude is gonna win the Oscar.

Because he's such a great actor (an ACTOR!!) that he's convinced folks that he was in Crazy Heart. Or Crazy Jason. Or something.

The movie that doesn't really exist. Never did. Never will.

Unless you've been to Spokane. And there it plays around the clock. In every cinema. In every theatre. At every picture show and every drive-in.

Crazy Heart starring Jeff Bridges. Winner of the Academy Award.

SO TO SUM UP:

Watch as Jeff double pumps the Oscar high in the air, runs his fingers thru his mane, and then points to his charming wife of 30+ years.

And thanks his agent.

Possibly even the folks in Spokane.

Do you agree with Johnny Depp?

The Rolled Coin Guy

We all have a rolled coin story in us.

Here is mine:

The other day this guy comes into my shop and asks if he can pay with coins.

I say: "Sure, no problemo!" (I didn't actually say that)

So he brings his stuff up to the counter, pulls out three or four rolls of coins and pays for said stuff.

He then looks at me.

I look at him.

And then he says:

"Can I have the paper rolls back?"

And then I say:

"You mean these hard to find paper coin rolls that one puts coins into for easy counting and storage?" (I didn't use those excat words)

And he says: "Yuppers!" (he didn't actually say Yuppers...I think it was more like a regular old Yes.)

So I emptied the coins into my cash register and gave him back his coin rolls.

MORAL OF THE STORY?
A penny saved is one more penny you can put into an old coin roll.

Or something.

Facebook Abuse

Wifey's Favorite Commercial

Vincent: The Fingernail Kid

So this ten year old kid named Vincent is in the shop the other day.

He's biting his fingernails.

Here is our conversation:


ME: "What are you doing!!?"

VINCENT: "Nothing."

ME: "I just saw you biting your fingernails!"

VINCENT: "So?"

ME: "And you were spitting them out on my floor!!"

VINCENT: "So...it was just one one fingernail. It would take like a million years of me biting my nails to fill up the place."

You're So Vain

Carly Simon just did the big reveal.

She was singing about...


about.....



she was singing about....wait for it....


Hold on....



She was singing about.....

Was it Mick Jagger?



No.




Warren Beatty??




Nope.




.








.





David Geffen..

It was David Geffen.

Lamest reveal EVER!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/35606113/ns/entertainment-music/

Web Searches that found I Ain't No Oprah

We did this a while ago....we're gonna do it again.

I have a little tracking cookie thingy on this here blog.

It shows what Google (and Bing etc) searches that people use and how they end up on I Ain't No Oprah.

Here are last week's searches:
(first number is how many people searched and found us)

(And people seem to really care about Oprah's hair)



Num Perc. Search Term
12 13.64% oprah's new hair style
5 5.68% how many tickets has avatar sold
4 4.55% hitler world tour t shirt
3 3.41% 30 rock waltham
2 2.27% oprah new hair style
2 2.27% oprah's new haircut
2 2.27% national geographic food rating system
2 2.27% corky tattoo
2 2.27% i ain't no oprah
2 2.27% ebonyjet.com oprah july 01 2009
2 2.27% definition AND proto socialist
2 2.27% oprah new haircut
2 2.27% mary ellen moffat
1 1.14% what happened to thomas' english muffins
1 1.14% national geographic food rating
1 1.14% CHUCK CHUCK BO BUCK
1 1.14% 30 rock, waltham
1 1.14% what is a bishen cutter?
1 1.14% "truck truck to lynn"
1 1.14% makes me no nevermind
1 1.14% Chuck, chuck, bo-buck
1 1.14% haiku hitler
1 1.14% "Chuck Chuck Bo Buck"
1 1.14% National Geographic 100 foods
1 1.14% happy girth day
1 1.14% hitler world tour t-shirt
1 1.14% Oprah Tom Jones
1 1.14% louie areola
1 1.14% sarah palins retarded kid
1 1.14% "blueberry blonde"
1 1.14% the best foods for you national geographic
1 1.14% "thomas' english muffins" smaller
1 1.14% oprah gowns
1 1.14% Christina Hendricks is fat
1 1.14% it dont make me no nevermind
1 1.14% don't make me no nevermind
1 1.14% beautiful aerolas
1 1.14% conversation of a client and a waiter
1 1.14% oprah's boyfriend jokes
1 1.14% how many Haitians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1 1.14% proto socialist government definition
1 1.14% pictures of dead jews
1 1.14% nice legs
1 1.14% how many tichets has avatar sold
1 1.14% Conversation Bank Teller
1 1.14% how many haitians does it take to screw in a lightbulb
1 1.14% death headlines
1 1.14% chinese guy
1 1.14% makes me no never mind
1 1.14% fox and the hound porn
1 1.14% meaning proto socialist
1 1.14% Thomas's english muffins getting smaller
1 1.14% fox and the hound nude
1 1.14% kam fong chin ho
1 1.14% itchy areolas
1 1.14% real guns that look like toys
1 1.14% oprahs new haircut
1 1.14% christina hendricks fat
1 1.14% flying poo particles toothbrush

Real soda

CUSTOMER: "Is that real soda?"

ME: "No....I sell fake soda."

CUSTOMER: "Why?"

ME: "I was kidding...it's real soda."

CUSTOMER: "So I can really drink it?"

ME: "If you really give me $1.99."

I'm pretty sure Jesus would have thought Elton was gay.

>>(CBS) Elton John is facing backlash from Christian groups after stating in an interview that Jesus was gay.<<<<

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2010/02/19/entertainment/main6223267.shtml?tag=cbsnewsTwoColLowerPromoArea;morenews

Crazy Jason and fighting in the comics.

CRAZY JASON: "You know how there is a lot of fighting in comic books?"

ME: "Yup."

CRAZY JASON: "Do you notice how most of the fighting takes place OUT of the ring?"

ME: "Yup."

Let's sum up the week's news in just a few sentences.

John Mayer called Kevin Smith a fat nigger pig and then died on the luge.

And Cheney beat up Biden....and called him a fat nigger pig and died on the luge.

Southwest Airlines apologized to everyone.

SNOW!

'zilla!

DUMB FIFTY YEAR OLD: "Wow...that's a great Godzilla!"

ME: "Yup."

DUMB FIFTY YEAR OLD: "Kids must love him."

ME: "Yup."

DUMB FIFTY YEAR OLD: "Is he a real dinosaur?"

ME: "Nope."

DUMB FIFTY YEAR OLD: "Where did he come from?"

ME: "I think from an atomic bomb somewhere off the coast of Japan."

DUMB FIFTY YEAR OLD: "You mean it's a real thing??"

ME: "No....it was from a movie."

DUMB FIFTY YEAR OLD: "What movie?"

ME: "Godzilla."

His Sayonara

'Former Knack frontman Doug Fieger passed away Sunday in Los Angeles at the age of 57 following a nearly five-year battle with lung cancer."

(Somehow I think my title is clever)

How I should behave: Lesson 722

So we were on our way to a party the other night.

Here is the conversation in the car before we got there.

WIFEY: "Now don't be a jerk tonight."

ME: "I'm never a jerk."

WIFEY: "Just behave."

ME: "Can I bring up the size of "Mary's" legs?"

WIFEY: "No."

ME: "Can I bring up the size of "Polly's" arm?"

WIFEY: "Yes."

I wish I was dead.

RIO DE JANEIRO (Reuters) - A mayor of a Brazilian town has banned Carnival revelers from playing funk.

Love That Hillary!

(Feb. 11) – Former President Bill Clinton was rushed to a hospital in New York City on Thursday for a condition related to his heart, ABC News reported.

Clinton, 63, was transported to Columbia Presbyterian Hospital in Manhattan. Sources told ABC News that he was being treated "likely for a stent procedure," ABC News chief political correspondent George Stephanopoulos said. CNN also reported the former president was experiencing chest pains.

Clinton had quadruple heart bypass surgery in 2004.

Sources told ABC that Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton was spotted leaving the Oval Office, but did not seem "too concerned."

Say it ain't so, Joe!

Vice President Joe Biden says it is unlikely that another attack like Sept. 11, 2001 will happen.

http://www.cbsnews.com/blogs/2010/02/11/politics/politicalhotsheet/entry6197550.shtml?tag=stack


SO TO SUM UP:

The US will be attacked on an even bigger scale. Probably soon.

Yup.

Who could have made the halftime show better? And Howe.

Happy 99th

Thank you CBSNEWS.COM for letting us know that the SUPER BOWL is the US Pro Football Championship Game.

>>>>On Sunday, Obama plans to host a party to watch the Super Bowl, the U.S. pro football championship game, as he did last year.>>>>>>

Joe Biden saw Avatar...shouldn't you?

Happy Birthday, Alice Cooper!

Shark Attack!!

Today's blog is about a fatal shark attack that happened yesterday.

First off....notice my clever and original use of Jaws movie poster art in a story about a shark attack.

But anyhow...

So I'm reading the story about the shark attack in Florida.

And I come across this:

-------------------------

"I've never heard of multiple sharks in this area surrounding someone and fatally wounding him," said the victim's childhood friend, Teague Taylor, 36. "He was the nicest person ever."

----------------------------

He was the nicest person ever????? Like this in some way should have prevented the shark from eating him???

Because he was nice?

Why didn't I think of that??

So I'm going to work this morning and I see this little place on a side street near my shop.

The neon sign got my attention so I took this picture.

There's a new douchebag in town.

Move over, Barbra Streisand.

You too, Julia Roberts...Jennifer Aniston.

I'm looking at you Jay Leno. Rosie O'Donnell.

Al Gore. Hillary.

All douchebags.

Chevy Chase. Douche.

A-Rod.

You people get stuck in my craw (That's CRAW, not CRAW!)

You think you're something.

You're not.

David Blaine.

Celine Dion.

You people bother me.

And I rarely change my mind about you (Though Rosie and Jennifer have recently gotten back on my 'They Don't Make Me Vomit' list)

Clooney. Douche pretending he's not.

He is.

But there is a new douchebag in town and his name is....

Jamie Foxx.

You pretended you were Ray Charles. Because you're an actor. An Actor.

You pretend.

Stop thinking you're a singer.

"Look at me! Look at me!! I'm rapping!! I'm talking street with the brothers!"

Douche.

And you ain't even all that good of an actor. Except for when you were Ray.

Douche.

Bag.

Possibly the best dog poop story ever.

So around four in the morning my puppy wakes me up.

She needs to go outside.

Outside is actually my garage. And outside means poop.

My puppy is tiny and just needs a small amout of area to poop on.

We carpet that area with newspapers.

So pup squats and leaves a little tootsie roll sized poop.

I grab some toilet paper and pick it up.

It's four in the morning. I'm tired. It's cold in the garage.

She squats again. Another tootsie roll. I pick it up.

Using toilet paper.

She squats again.

I reach down to pick it up. (with a hand full of toilet paper)

I feel nothing.

I clearly saw the poop she left.

I adjust my eyes.

No poop.

Where is the poop??

It's not on me. It's not on my feet.

I didn't pick it up. Puppy didn't eat it.

I look again.

And there on the newspaper I spot the 'poop'.

Turns out the 'poop' in question was actually just a small picture of Obama on the newspaper.

True story.

----

SO TO SUM UP:

It was four in the morning and my dog was doing racial jokes.

Tom Jones goes NUTS at the 1:20 mark!

(Thanks to Johnny C for showing me this)

The Rolling Stones shreds

KISS shreds.

J.D. Salinger RIP

The following was in his obit this morning:

'Salinger's alleged adoration of children apparently did not extend to his own. In 2000, daughter Margaret Salinger's "Dreamcatcher" portrayed the writer as an unpleasant recluse who drank his own urine and spoke in tongues.'

----

Just being an unpleasant recluse would be cool enough.

Drinking my own urine? Speaking in tongues?

I salute you JD Salinger!!

(And now I want a pastrami on rye! With mustard)

Denise Richards Speaks!

Seems Charlie Sheen got in trouble with his wife over Christmas.

So this brought out former wife Denise Richards.

She claims Charlie never hit her.

But he did 'verbally abuse' her.

Poor widdle baby.

Poor widdle Denise got 'verbally abused'

Welcome to my world, Denise.

(Skank)

A gift from the lovely Cake

Our friend Cake made this.

It's chock full of inside jokes.

If you're not a regular around these parts I suggest you go do something else.

You are a regular? Then spend the three plus minutes and watch Hitler.

I know, I know...three minute YouTubes are forever.

Watch it anyhow.

I never got used to Candy. RIP Trapper.

Even Nazis Are Good People. Sometimes.

SIEG HIGHWAY!

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2010/01/24/ap/strange/main6137635.shtml?tag=cbsnewsSectionContent.13

Forrest Gump has sold more tickets than Avatar.

So has Home Alone and Grease. And Ben-Hur. The Excorcist.

And a bunch of other movies.

So don't give me this crap about Avatar being the biggest movie (or soon to be) of all time. It's just made more money because ticket prices are way higher.

I'm sure Avatar is good.

But as good as Home Alone?

I think not.

30 Rock visits beautiful Waltham

RIP Jean Simmons

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2010/01/23/entertainment/main6133019.shtml?tag=stack

Dear Barista,

You pour coffee.

Possibly even well.

But I think I'll just call you Barry.


Love,
I AINT NO OPRAH

My family was crushed to death under a mountain of rubble in Haiti and all I got was....

John Edwards in Haiti

(CBSNEWS.COM) -Former presidential candidate John Edwards, in the news today for his admission that he was the father of Rielle Hunter's daughter, is now in Haiti helping with earthquake relief efforts.

He hopes to impregnate numerous light-skinned survivors.

Reason #23 why Martha Coakley lost the election.

She looks too much like David Bowie and people really only like her Ziggy Stardust persona.

Reason #74 why Martha Coakley lost

She looks too much like Sheldon.

How Martha Coakley could have won (Number one in a series)

Collagen.

Nobody wants a broad in the Senate with pencil thin lips.

Taco Bell Founder Dies at Age 86

His last name was Bell.

Really.

I never knew that.

(I wonder how Jack Box is doing?)