Friday, March 24, 2006

EXTRA! EXTRA! Read ALL About The New Commandments!



1. Thou shall not pull up to a McDonalds drive-thru window with a mini-van filled with screaming kids with no idea what they want to order and make me wait.

2. Thou shall not pull up to the drive thru window at my bank and try to apply for a car loan or mortage...go inside you loser so I can get on with my life.

3. Thou shall enjoy the McDonalds hot apple pies because they are the best food in the world and they are 2 for a buck.

4. Thou shall use your freakin' turn signals when you...you know, turn. Loser.

5. Thou shall work Hitler into fake list of Commandments

6. Mou shall get back to work because it's busy.
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8 comments:

  1. Sparkle Plenty12:12 PM EST

    Thou shalt not standeth in front of me in line at the grocery store, waiteth until thine bill is summethed up, and THEN diggeth in thine HONKIN' IMMENSE leather purse for thine checkbook. Thou boot-cut jean clad butt shalt be smiteth by my foot of divine retribution if you so doeth. Or, so sayeth the lord.

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  2. Cake12:16 PM EST

    - Thou shalt not gun thy car engine at a pedestrian crossing or thy car shall get scratched.
    - Thou shalt not answer thy cell phone in a store and shout "I'M AT THE STORE! THE STORE".
    - Thou shalt get drunk in the middle of the day for it is good and shall make you happy.
    - Thou shalt wear fuzzy slippers for thy shalt lead thee to the Heavenly Kingdom (or something).

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  3. Paul12:34 PM EST

    Thou shalt not send me SPAM.
    Thou shalt not buy a copy of Nick Fury's Howling Commandos, because it suckith biggus dickus.
    Thine holy employees shall wash thine hands before returnith to work.

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  4. Paul12:37 PM EST

    Thou shalt not maketh a blog of lists, and continually milketh the "I cannot thinketh of something for #6" joke.

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  5. Sparkle Plenty1:45 PM EST

    Woe betide the pharisee and false prophet who offendeth Apostle Paul by the "Nothingeth for #X" gag. One order of locusts, with a side order of purging flood, cometh up.

    Thou shalt just not chattereth away randomly on thine cellular device in the house of the lord (i.e., the world). If the lord wanteth to know what you hath wrought for dinner, he would asketh.

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  6. Cake3:04 PM EST

    Phil Donahue's Niece:

    I can't find that one in the Book - I think you're using an older translation. Check the inside front cover, what edition is it?

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  7. Anonymous3:26 PM EST

    Thou shalt not let your stupid dog
    jump all over me and sayth "He's just being friendly."

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous10:46 PM EST

    Thou shalt Protest movies about Leonardo DaVinci, and give him a Sudafed.

    ReplyDelete