1. Have big hands.
2.Finish this song:
-Show me the way to go home-
-I'm tired and I wanna go to bed-
-I had a little drink about an hour ago...-
3. Take your right palm and cup it in your left underarm, start flapping arm in hopes to simulate farting noises.
4. Eat a Milky Way candy bar. Now let thick milkyway spit almost fall to the ground before sucking it triumphantly back into your mouth. (Instant boot out of Woman Club....bonus points in Man Club)
5. Eat a sandwich without cutting it in half.
6. Wear a wife beater t-shirt with mustard stains.
7. Read the balk rule and actually understand it.
8. Quote the Godfather parts I and II (you can enjoy the movies but once you quote them...OUT. OF. WOMAN. CLUB.
9. Carry me up to bed each night.
10. Know who Colonel Klink's boss is.
Colonel Clinky has no boss. I am my own robot.
ReplyDeleteOh crap. I am so out of Woman Club.
ReplyDeleteOf course, I've been on probation anyway since I belched the alphabet at the annual conference.
And it went straight to my head...
ReplyDeleteThat's it, there are too many rules in all these stupid clubs. I'm starting my own.
To get your membership, send me a a dust ruffle with matching sham, a Milky Way bar, and $5.
I don't know! I'm wondering the same thing - I don't seem to belong in either club, based on Nooprah's rules.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I'll just sit outside and hope for scraps...wine from the Woman Club and Big Sandwiches and Milky Way Bars from the Man Club (apparently).